The most comfortable relationship between adults is nothing to do

Your boundaries to the relationship,

It often determines its time limit.

Author: Lodge Yebo

In an interview, Chen Daoming talked about his way to get along with his friends:

Sometimes a friend tells me too much of his own things, and I will stop him. I think when people really get out of their hearts, they are not far from separation.

Many times, friends go too close, often the beginning of emotional breakdown.

Long -term feelings need a little cold and distance.

The most comfortable relationship between adults is nothing to do.

1

But enthusiasm

There is such a story in "Van Gogh Biography".

At the age of 35, Van Gogh took the big painter he worshiped, and invited him to his own town.

He prepared rooms and furniture for Gao Gao, hand -painted the decoration on the wall, and deliberately drew "Sunflower" for him.

After Gao's arrival, Van Gogh's life began to turn around him.

Van Gogh asked him to warm up and meet all his needs.

Usually painting, he also took the initiative to help Gao Geng draws the painting board and adjust the color.

Even when the night was quiet, he sneaked into the high room and wandered beside his bed.

But the enthusiasm for Van Gogh is getting more and more uncomfortable.

Two months later, he felt unbearable anymore, so he chose to leave.

After that, Van Gogh wrote a lot of letters to Gao, but did not receive a reply.

In this way, the two became friends and eventually became strangers.

Ji Berren said: "Once enthusiasm is too much, it is a self -immolation flame."

Many times, those who deliberately approach and get too fast, may not accompany you to go far.

Those faint and slow relationships last longer.

During the Republic of China, Lu Xun and Qu Qiubai appreciated each other because of their knowledge.

It stands to reason that when he meets a confidant, most people can't wait to meet each other immediately and complain about each other.

But they rarely meet, and they usually only speak through their friends Feng Xuefeng, or communicate with letters.

Once, it is indifferent, but the friendship has never been cut off like a flowing water.

One time, Qu Qiubai passed Shanghai, and the two chatted face to face for an afternoon.

When he was in different, Lu Xun wrote the gift: Life was enough to be confused, and he was regarded as he was in the same way.

Later, Qu Qiubai was disaster, and Lu Xun was fully rescued and arranged for him properly.

Although the friendship between the two is not hustle and bustle, they have the same heart from beginning to end, and they are suffering from each other.

San Mao once said a word:

Two people can enter or retreat.

We have always been enthusiastic, as sincere; they are familiar with mistakes, and they should be intimate.

In fact, the faster comes, the faster the feelings, and often go fast.

The relationship that can really go with you is a little cold.

Slow heat can we bear the flow of time and make the feelings more and more mellow in the long flow of water.

2

But force

Writer Susan Furde once said: "Bringing a relationship into the result of tragedy is obsessed."

Many times, what really leads to our misfortune is exactly our wishful thinking.

Su Qing, a talented woman in the Republic of China, is outstanding and beautiful. Before the university is finished, she is married with her fiance Li Qin.

Not long after marriage, she found that Li Qin was looking for flowers outside and asking Liu.

She begged her husband not to go again, but did not expect to get the husband's poison.

The former friend advised her to separate quickly, but Su Qing was unwilling.

She thought that as long as she was obedient, she could win back her husband's heart.

So she no longer read and write poems, and dedicated all her energy to this home.

Get up early every day and take care of the old and small living.

Even in just a few years, she gave birth to several children for her husband.

I thought these actions could make her husband's minds, but the result was more humiliation and scolding.

It wasn't until Su Qing was tired of being physically and mentally and mental, and then left the Li family with despair and pain.

I have heard a word:

Those who are wrong, like cactus, the tighter you hold, the more painful it will be stabbed.

On the way of life, we will always meet some people and have some fate.

Maybe you have been intimate, and you don't talk about it, but when you embark on the bifurcation of each other, you must learn to let go.

In Lu Yao's novel "Life", the rural girl Liu Qiazhen is a couple with the knowledge youth Gaogalin.

At the beginning, Gao Jialin vowed to give her a future.

Later, he supported the relationship and went to work in the county seat, but fell in love with the girl Huang Yaping in the city.

When Gao Gaolin found Liu Qiazhen and proposed to break up, he thought she would cry.

I didn't expect Liu Qiazhen to accept it calmly, and even when he left, he didn't even return.

She understood that the other party had no her in her heart, and it was better to let go of it.

There is an old saying: "The twisted melon is not sweet."

People who can't get it, don't be entangled, don't cover the heart, don't be obsessed.

Any relationship is not tired if you don't force it.

When we are together, cherish each other, and be good when not together.

The best way to get along is to gather and follow the fate. Please cherish it when you get it.

3

But look forward to

Writer Qingshan said such a paragraph:

The so -called friend is just the lively on the cake. Sometimes I have to admit that I pushed the cup in the past to change the friendship of my brothers and brothers.

Entrepreneur Wu Hang, in an interview, tells his own experience:

A few years ago, Wu Hanggang moved the company to Guangdong and was ready to work here. At that time, his company had a good talent and strong strength.

Many people from the local colleagues and related institutions take the initiative to find him and make friends with him.

There are more cooperations, and their relationship naturally gets close.

There are several good -relationship customers who will ask him to come out for dinner in private.

Everyone told the wine, drank very well, and chatted very much.

After a few wines, Wu Hanggang really felt that these people were not only customers, but also friends who pushed their hearts.

Later, the market situation reversed, and the company's cash flow appeared in crisis.

Wu Haigang had to ask for help from the good friends in the past.

He originally looked forward to using the accumulated contacts to make the company blood back, but what happened to him caught off guard.

The call was over, not only did none of them could be connected, but several of them also raised him.

At first, friends who were shocked by their breasts suddenly disappeared without a trace.

In the end, Wu Hanggang could only survive some assets to survive the crisis.

Thinking of the words I have seen before: "The actual position you are in others will always be much lower than you think you are in the hearts of others."

Many times, we invest in feelings and look forward to the other party's corresponding feedback.

But not all sincere attention can be valued, nor is it possible to pay for equal returns.

Mr. Ji Xianlin said:

I have a good wish, I am nice to everyone, and I hope everyone is good to me. It has been realized recently that it was impossible at all.

How many expectations are in life, how much look forward to, how much it is lost.

Instead of being too sad and disappointed, it is better to accept human nature and learn to know people.

Don't overestimate the relationship, don't rely on human feelings, minimize the expectations of expectations, all encounters in life become surprises.

▽

Bi Shumin said: "Keeping distance close to the same way is the most appropriate way of communication."

In the world of adults, the most taboo is that if you think that the relationship is good, you can get along at will.

On the contrary, if you want to make your feelings last long, you need to grasp the sense of size. Don't rely too close, don't overestimate.

The boundary between your relationship often determines its time limit.

The way to make friends lies in maintaining a proper distance.

Like a praise, I hope that we can operate a comfortable and comfortable relationship in the advancement and retreat, and harvest precious and long -term feelings.

- END -