This mentality can fight the meaningless sense of life and let more "lucky" happen

This year, I obviously feel that my mentality is not good. The magnificent uncertainty in life often makes me feel anxiety and boredom. Is this world better?

What's more obvious is that it is obviously not me. Often brushed in the circle of friends, "Destroy, hurry up."

Worrying about the future is a source of negative emotions in everyone's life. What should I do if the income is not good? What should I do if TA doesn't love me? What if the avalanche is avalanche? What should I do if the epidemic will never end? ... When you worry too much, become an invasive thought that you want to stop and you can't stop, you will start to hurt your mental health, and even have the risk of illness.

In response to this anxiety about the future, I read a concept called "Allow" -allows. Allowing is a kind of wisdom of life. After reading it, I feel very benefited. I will share it with everyone today.

What is "allowed"? Why is it a kind of wisdom? What changes can it bring to our lives and mentality?

Allow, is it the same as lying flat? Is it a choice of self -violence?

After the permission, why does life get better?

Look at today's article.

To understand the permission,

We must first understand "not allowed"

A lot of pain in life is related to "not allowed". Not allowed, so try to prevent the situation that you don't want.

The work conditions are not allowed to be worse, love disappears, and life is not allowed to be in their own control. There is also a "should" thinking that often appears with this state -for example, "I should be very self -disciplined, I don't allow myself to gain weight", "TA should pet me very much, I don't allow TA to not listen to me" "Children should learn from me." Okay, I don't allow TA to be mediocre. "

"Not allowed" to bring a series of bad mentality:

1) Always worrying;

2) Angry when the reality violates my expectations;

3) Give a lot of effort to fight reality and bring more self -torture;

4) Self -criticism and negation, thinking that your ability is too poor or not enough;

5) It becomes very suffocating, feels that the world owes itself, and is caught in complaints about others or self -pity for fate.

The permission is the opposite state. Allow is calm and fearless. On the one hand, they accept their own small -unable to control the fate and the world, but on the other hand, they are confident and brave, willing to accept all reality, and believe that they can do their best to respond and deal with reality.

In simple terms, "not allowed" and "allowed" to be in this state:

In a state of not allowing, we believe that "things are artificial", used to controlling life in their own hands, just like sailors holding the rudder, grasping the direction of sailing, and not allowing our boat to drive outside of any plan;

The state of "allowing" is more like a tourist on the boat. We don't care whether we control the ship, but we are more concerned about what we can experience in this journey. Enjoy every place and every time we pass by in this journey. If you really encounter the wind and waves, then deal with the wind and waves.

When we have a "allowable" attitude towards things, we will face the world with an open mind, welcome the flow and change of the world, and let go of our judgment on the surroundings. We no longer try to avoid or fight against the wind and waves. On the contrary, we ride the waves.

In the allowable state, we are weak and powerful. The weak is we surrendered to the universe and destiny, and strong is that we will still do our best to send our fate to our cards.

It is worth noting that "allowing" is not lying flat. Allowing the efforts based on accepting reality, lying flat is to give up hard work. The essence of "permission" is deeply accepted by "unavoidable uncertainty in life". Not only does it not pursue controlling the future, but because of acceptance, it is deeply rooted in this "the only uncertainty in life" and finds it. The inner determination and peace.

From "not allowed" to "allowed",

What will happen?

In the process of growing up, the knowledge and experience of continuous accumulation are helping us to improve our ability to control life. In this sense, we actually grew in a "not allowed" way. This way of growth is our necessary, because we need to master the necessary survival skills.

However, because of this way of growth, the concept of "allowing" makes us feel strange or even uneasy -this is normal.

When our survival skills are very mature, we can start to learn "letting go" -the will to make life more ambitious and lead you to feel your life. After seeing the permission, what will happen, how will you deal with, what kind of person will become a person because of these experiences, and see where the destiny is to guide us.

What is good for "allowing", is it worthy of our sense of anxiety and embrace it? When "allow" to enter our lives, we will see at least these 4 changes:

Allows to fight boring and make people curious about their destiny

The planned life often puts pressure to people -stress comes from worrying about whether they can make life from getting out of the plan. In this state, people are easy to have boring boring.

But allowing people to bring positive curiosity. We will be curious about what will happen next. Although this curiosity will make some bad things enter our lives, it will definitely make more good things enter us. We will be more willing to try new things and accept new opportunities. Finally, we see a person we have never imagined in the permission. We can no longer enlarge the impact of something on us

The unsatisfactory plans, unsatisfactory results, often contradictions and disagreements ... In the face of these situations, we often do not just disappoint. We will feel frustrated, angry, and blame others or ourselves, "How can this!"

The reason why many things make us feel painful and anxious, except for these things itself, a large part of the reason is that we do not allow these things to exist.

A study found that although low self -esteem is related to depression, there is an important factor between the two: whether people allow their low self -esteem. When people do not allow their low self -esteem, TAs are more likely to become depressed (Michalak et al., 2011).

Low self -esteem is naturally not our ideal state, but the pain about it is not so strong. The same is true of many other things. The more difficult it is to accept those things that do not meet our expectations, the easier it is to be enlarged by our "not allowed".

Stopping extra pain for ourselves is the first obvious change that "allows" to bring to our lives.

Stop the internal consumption of self -consumption with the world for the enemy

The existence of the world was not to defeat or hurt us. Life is ups and downs, and success fails. In fact, there is no essential differences -we live in this world. The only thing that can really belong to us is "experience".

No one has some arrangements that do not have fate writing. What we can do is to feel as much as possible and understand the experiences of these heavenly gifts, and then stimulate our maximum potential to cope with these arrangements.

A bad thing happens to yourself, you can not accept it, and then chew the pain and derive the hatred of the world. You can also accept it, and then find the meaning from it as much as possible.

When we can allow the world with an open attitude, we can stop spending energy to fight reality, and no longer internal consumption because of useless hostility.

Change often occurs when we are not attached to change

Many times, our efforts and persistence will make our vision narrow, so that we mistakenly think that we want to get what we want. Only by identifying a difficult and dangerous path. It is often clear that when we come out from perseverance, we can see clearly, and the scenery on other roads is also very good.

How should we learn to "allow"

Unlike the topic that many KY is concerned, "allowing" is not the skills that are obtained through practice. When we think that we must allow something to exist, we often fall into another strange circle of "not allowed". Before finding a "allowable" state, we must first allow the existence of "not allowed".

The suggestions I can give next, how to prepare more about the arrival of "allowing".

First, we can start with simple observations. Observe the appearance of things around, and our judgment on all of this. We usually get used to binding our judgment with the things around, and as an observer, we need to temporarily open our judgment with the world.

For example, what we observe is not "the weather is really comfortable today", but "the weather is not cold or hot today, there are breeze blowing from time to time" and "I like this weather very much"; "Angry", but "the object of the object" and "I became angry because of these words."

In the process, we neither deny the appearance of things nor ignore the judgment of ourselves. Through observation, we can be more familiar with our "not allowed" state, as well as what is around after our prejudice and judgment.

Then we need to re -feel it.

Feel how we exist in the world and how they interact with everything around. When we were observer, we opened our distance with the world. When we are perceptuals, we need to experience the connection between ourselves and the world.

These connections may be between people, such as the familiar faces that we always buy breakfast; it may also be between people and the environment, such as the warm orange light on the sun in the evening; It is between people and things, such as drawing patterns on the window on rainy days, and it will be faintly visible.

Whenever we feel that the world seems to be against ourselves, we may wish to give ourselves some space to feel these connections, so that they can be used as our daily tips to remind us that the relationship between the world and us is not so bad. Essence (The way to connect with the world can also be "live in the present". If you are interested, you can read this old article: always feel abducted by the world, there is no freedom, you need today's article.)

Finally, we need to give ourselves and life a lot of patience.

"Allow" will not come faster because of our efforts, and it will not make us more successful because of its arrival. The only thing that can be certain is that when we can really feel "allowed", we feel more free and fearless.

People often have a misunderstanding of "allowing", thinking that "allowing" reflects behavioral changes, and it is necessary to "allow" by doing something.But many times, for "allowing", not rush to do whatever is more important than doing.The observation of the world mentioned earlier can help us slow down.In addition, we can also try to find our belief in life, that is, I believe that we do not need our efforts, and the world will show us in front of us in the most good way.

above.

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