Really smart people are "managing themselves"

Author:The wind is light and cloudy Time:2022.09.23

People often say: "Do not do what you want, do not do it."

If a person wants to get the respect and recognition of others, he does not rely on imposing his thoughts to others, but to manage himself first, make himself a role model, and use the power of action to infect others.

Therefore, truly smart people are "managing themselves", and then they have a subtle influence on the people and things around them.

Manage the rhythm of learning and work: not obedient and yourself.

Born as a person, how to stand on the world is a subject that everyone must face.

Some people learn and be good, some are good, and some people are willing to be a farmer. In the spring farming and autumn harvest, they will gain the joy of self -sufficiency ...

There are tens of millions of successful roads, but the successful experience is not to copy and paste at will, and they can show the same miracle on another person.

Therefore, everyone has their own rhythm and methods, and it is not suitable for deliberately learning others and copied copying.

Fan Zhongyan, a Northern Song writer who wrote a famous sentence "The worry of the world, the joy of the world, the joy of the world", relying on diligence and studying hard, it has become the talent of the pillar.

His road of success is prepared for hardships: when he was one or two years old, his father died and remarried with his mother. At the age of twenty, he was no longer accepted by his stepfather's house.

Fortunately, Fan Zhongyan came to Yingtian Academy, who had the reputation of the Northern Song Academy, to study. There are books, famous teachers, and tuition fees. It is an excellent place.

According to historical records, in the five -year schooling career, Fan Zhongyan never dismissed his clothes, and he was eaten with thin porridge all year round.

Friends of my classmates distressed him and sent delicious food, but he declined politely, only to say that he was used to porridge. If he ate these foods that could not be eaten on weekdays, he would not adapt to a hard life.

Such persistence runs through his life.

Therefore, even if he is the prime minister since then, he always has his own claims, his own persistence, and his own principles. Whether it is to govern the party for the civilian or the border for the military officer, he can always weigh and deal with it freely.

In fact, people who are truly smart can manage the rhythm of learning and work. In their lives, the footsteps of learning have never stopped, and the pace of work has never been lazy. Social value has been maximized, and life is abundant and rich.

Manage the scale of socializing: do not deliberately coincidence, nor is it afraid of loneliness.

The more people are mixed with society, the more understanding the subtle and complexity of interpersonal relationships, and they are constantly debugging their own models to get along with the world to avoid being abandoned by the group and avoiding assimilation by the group.

In the process, many people have experienced the transformation from "unconnected" to "group", to "unintentional group", corresponding to the psychological course.

I remember when I first joined the job, I was always surprised. After my colleagues were off work, there would be a variety of "bureau":

I ate together, play cards together, exercise together, chat together ... After these "social activities", their "interpersonal circle" seems to be particularly wide, especially in the small county of the 18th line. , Can be quickly spread through them.

Like "listening to the sky", we began to try to do everything to integrate into their circle: learn to play cards, learn to drink, learn gossip, and challenge those things that we never think they will like, and they have become them. "Following the class".

The more I have been fighting for a long time, the more I understand, the more interpersonal relationships that make myself difficult to flatter are a waste of time and blasphemy for life; those who are embarrassed everywhere can only rely on their absolute strength with their absolute strength. Crossing the past can make them dare not make a time.

Therefore, the rest of my life is good for those who are good to themselves, and they can only resonate with themselves with themselves.

In addition, I began to enjoy the time.

As a writer said: "Like to come and go alone, it does not mean that it is not good at others, not good at interpersonal relationships, nor does it mean that the personality has defects. It is not so complicated, but you want to be yourself quietly."

When a person grasps the scale of the social scale, he can reflect on the precipitation of the soul in a person's Qinghuan, and you can feel the conveying of love and goodwill between people in a group of people. The burden of heavy interpersonal communication will not have a sense of separation.

Manage the boundary of emotion: intimate and intercourse, when it is broken.

What can make a person feel happy, in addition to the success of the career, is the happiness of the family.

Many people take it for granted that the worst emotions are always given to the favorite person, because they firmly believe that they will not leave, and even because of the blood relationship, they will not alienate themselves.

When you are a parent, you will realize that the maintenance of intimacy also needs to be operated with your heart, and you need to pay time, energy, wisdom, and unconditional love.

There is a story about lovers: a foreign couple was emotional because of quarrels. The girl under the anger picked up the fruit knife and stabbed it towards himself. The boyfriend did not rob immediately, but picked up the phone to call the police.

The ambulance took the girl away, and the police car took the boy. Since then, the girl has been forced into a place similar to the center of psychiatric prevention and was released one week later.

As a result, the two broke up indifferently.The injured girl learned from this: No matter how she sinks into the emotional vortex in the future, she will not commit suicide anymore.Yes, the boy's measures seem to be ruthless, but the most human nature: "We can approach each other infinitely, but always two people, but life belongs to ourselves, and we must be responsible for ourselves."

Keeping the boundary in intimacy, it will not make love a harm and shackles.

Such a treatment method is also suitable for parent -child relationships. Learn to let go of children who grow up and respect their claims and choices. Often, they can live more than forced them to live according to their wishes, and can win the long -term love of children.