The feeling of "no", how cool is it?

Are you also a person who is difficult to reject others?

I know that I have to learn to refuse, but when others make a request, because they can't bear the psychological pressure brought by "no" (would he be unhappy? Will he lose this friend? Will he be considered bad?), Or is it or not?), Or is it or not to speak?), Or is it?), Or is it?), Or is it not good?), Or do you think?), Or do you think it ’s hard to speak?), Or do you think?), Or do you think it’ s not good?), Or do you think?), Or do you think it ’s not good?), Or do you think?), Or do you think it’ s not good?), Or do you think?), Or do you think it ’s not good?), Or do Will agree to it violated.

A few days ago, "Wang Chuanjun rejected Song Dandan's proposal" was searched, and many netizens said: It looks cool and likes this real! But some people think: Is it really embarrassing. Is it really true in real life?

Do not refuse to be aggrieved, and refuse to be afraid of harm. So, how should it refuse? Does rejection, will it really affect the relationship?

Last week, we initiated a collection. Please share our "successful rejection of others", let's take a look.

01

I never rejected me, and finally said the word "no"

@anonymous

After doing psychological treatment, you can finally say to your parents, grandma, and relatives, "No, thank you, I don't eat it, I'm full."

It is very simple, but for me, it is the first time that it has not been guilty for more than 20 years.

@anonymous

I am a person who never refuses others, so the company's evaluation of me is: She is really good. The consequence of this is that they have undertaken a lot of work that does not belong to themselves, and their work cannot be done, and they have been repeatedly questioned. Even if I was wronged to hide my nose, I couldn't say what I refused.

So I started trying to think, why dare not refuse others? What are you afraid of? When I thought I was afraid of the evaluation of others, I decided to try it out.

It was a job arrangement. This job has never done this job outside my ability. I have never done it. The result I racked my brain is not allowed to be satisfied with one of the company's leaders (not my direct boss), so he is in Challenge me at the meeting: Have you done it? If we can't do it, we will do it. I thought about it and answered directly: Sorry, I really can't do it, I can only deliver this. The leader froze for a moment, and later really agreed to close the project with my materials. The second phase of the project was indeed not done by it and assigned to other colleagues.

@anonymous

A supervisor leader always let me notify a colleague who I don't like to do things, and every time I get angry. Until one day I told her: I don't like XXX, because I don't like her style of doing things, and I can't work with her. The leader never asked me to inform again.

▷ The Japanese drama "Sepanic and Quiet Leisure"

02

Speaking of which I am the Say No master himself

@anonymous

I am said. For example, when you go to pinch your feet just now, the other party introduces "1 is the most basic. Generally, customers will not choose. The most popular in 2 and 3, are you choosing 2 or 3?" I: 1. "

@ @阿

When I want to refuse others, I have never failed, because I am a person with the same type of Wang Chuanjun. If the other party's request is too excessive or cannot be met, I will directly inform the other party that I can't do this.

For example, the family members of the same thing have a card task. If you want everyone to help everyone, I will directly show that I have no self -control and I can't control excessive consumption. Therefore Then divert the topic and talk about each other's work and family. This matter has passed.

Looking back, the reason why repeatedly rejected success is that in daily life, when you see that others need help, they will take the initiative to help. At the same time, it will be troublesome to help others, and it doesn't matter if it is rejected. Everyone knows that I am such a straightforward, so I can accept being rejected.

@ @爱 爱

I generally do n’t want to do anything that I do n’t want to do it directly, and I have never considered embarrassment. In terms of work, I will never drink the company's dinner. Although it is a wine blindfold in private, but in the workplace, I will not drink it. In the face of the hard -working leader, I said that alcohol allergies were alive, and normal leaders said that they did not want to drink. The principle is that the work hours are dripping wine. The skills are with a smile, gentle and firm.

After successful rejection, I will not be persuaded again next time. Once I accept the setting of "no drinking", it will be normal for meals to dinner in the future.

▷ The Japanese drama "Sepanic and Quiet Leisure"

03

Rejection will not affect the relationship, and it will not refuse

@anonymous

It is really difficult to say "no" to please the personality. I am a person who needs great space and has a slight cleanliness. But one of my friends think that a good friend should be intimate. For example, if she comes to my city, she hopes to live in my house. It may be more than a week as soon as I live, which makes me really uncomfortable. Later, she clearly told her that it was okay for two or three days, and it was really no way for a long time.

At that time, I was more relieved. I was afraid of making my friends feel stubborn or unhappy before, but after promising, I was really very uncomfortable. After I rejected it, I felt very relaxed. Because there was a quarrel, but later she found that I was not targeting her, and this was the case for all my friends. Later, she could understand it. When I really wanted to live, I probably knew that the longest residence time I could accept It's right.

Communication is still very important. My friend and my friend's definition of the boundaries of intimate relations are different, but the clear expression and communication allows us to get along with each other for a long time.

@anonymous

My girlfriends who have met for more than ten years often talk to me about the harm brought by her parents' divorce to her. I have always helped her analyze the problem and enlighten her, but when I and her told her sadness Over time, I really feel disappointed and I don't want to be her sad trash. So when she talked to me again, I did not reply to her information immediately, but had a good word when she had time when she had time, and told her: "Baozi, you complained that his parents' divorce had brought me trouble. Let me also have negative emotions. I don't want to listen to your parents' divorce. As your friend, I want to say that we are all growing up. , Let's pursue our own lives and enjoy the college time. "

After expressing my own thoughts frankly, I was very happy and relaxed. Although I was a little worried that I would lose this friend, but I also thought that if a decade of old friends would make trouble because of this, I also need to re -evaluate this friendship. Essence She only replied "Okay, I know", but later she never asked me to say about her parents' divorce, and began to share more happy things. We didn't make trouble, and the relationship was as usual.

▷ The Japanese drama "Sepanic and Quiet Leisure"

04

Some of the careful rejection of others (useful for pro -testing)

1. Tell yourself first: you can refuse

@Chestnut liz

If it is not the responsibility or obligation you should do/must do, it is not necessary to give a reason. It is your right.

If you feel difficult to refuse, you think that: you can't refuse actually hurt yourself. Will you deliberately hurt your best friend? You can't, why do you hurt such a precious self? Are you the best friend of your own?

2. No, no, no need to find a reason

@Yan

Once I passed the WSET secondary exam (the second -level certification qualification examination of wine and the spirits) with a high score. Friends' friends did a wine business. After learning the news, I wanted to ask me to go to her store to give a lecture. For the first time, I said, "I am not enough." The other party insisted that "it doesn't matter, and others don't understand." I returned to God, and the excuse would always be cracked, so I said "I'm not interested", and I never found me again when the other party was set.

The experience is:

Do not "euphemistically", the result of euphemism is often, either the other party does not understand, or the other party does not want to understand. Direct rejection is the most effective way. I don't want to, I am not interested, I don't like it, it is too cool after speaking!

3. The tone must be soft, and the position must be firm

@

"Gong rejected ha." Simple and firm, the other party would not ask me 80 %.

@

Focus on your true thoughts and fully respect yourself. At this time, you will find that your attitude of refusing to others is: gentle and firm, without hostility and maliciousness. It feels particularly easy, just as easy as saying it is very common.

@anonymous

Know your bottom line and evaluate what the worst result or the worst situation you can withstand. First express your understanding of others, and then make your thoughts clearly. The tone is soft and the position is firm.

4. If it is a relationship that values, give an alternative when rejection

@水 水 水

Friends and children invite me to participate. Originally happy. However, two colleagues who were not too harmonious with each other were also invited. In order not to let my friends embarrassed, I told her that there was an urgent process of work on the same day.

@anonymous

I am my teacher's family tutor. Her child reviews the teacher tonight and wants me to counsel. I declined, because I had a final exam at noon tomorrow and I needed to be reviewed before the exam. While refusing, I gave my review suggestions.

▷ The Japanese drama "Sepanic and Quiet Leisure"

Bleak

Many times, we can't say rejection, we feel that "refusal will hurt the relationship."

But in fact, many times, rejection will not hurt, and it will not refuse.

If you won't refuse to bring the sense of grievances in the relationship: "Why no one has considered my feelings", "Why always find me all kinds of requirements", you will not like this relationship and relationship It is likely to be unaware of the other person.

Because it is difficult to express your true needs, you may use passive attacks to express your dissatisfaction. And this can not let the other party understand your needs, but also hurt your relationship.

A good relationship is the premise of truth: embarrassment, disappointment, conflict, are part of the real relationship. They let us understand each other and gradually find these different ways. The relationship between people is so deep. And those who leave you at a time are not worthy of fighting.

I wish you always have a "no" relationship.

Edit: Li Qiwei, two cocoons

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