"I see someone else's family, I feel uncomfortable."

Ding Jianyun couldn't pay attention to the old man waiting outside the door: he was walking back and forth, looking anxious, looking at the door from time to time.

It was finally his turn. He entered the door, sat down, relieved, and then thrown a knife on the table. The movement is very light and fast, as if you have practiced countless times.

In the next few seconds, Ding Jianyun's brain was blank. When she gradually returned to God, he heard him say, "I don't want to live." At this time, Ding Jianyun discovered that the old man in front of him had a chest card with his name, age, and phone number. There is a series of chronic diseases on the opposite side of the chest card, one of which says: depression.

Ding Jianyun is a psychological counselor who encountered the first year of her consultation at the community psychological station. She joined the Shanghai Xinda Community Psychological Consultation Service Club is a middle -aged volunteer team. Since 2018, she has volunteered to carry out the community's elderly psychological health consulting services in the rest of her job. At present, the team has served more than 10,000 elderly people in communities such as Pengpu New Village.

In addition to the team's field of vision, there is also "the majority of silence". According to data released by the World Health Organization in 2018, the prevalence of depression in the elderly over 65 years old is conservatively estimated to reach 10%-15%, and some regions are even as high as 45%.

In recent years, under the leadership of Chen Jianping, these middle -aged psychological counselors have "heard" the psychological voices of the old people who have been ignored. Everyone knows.

Waiting for the old people who are "heard"

In March of this year, with the outbreak of the epidemic, the staff of the Shanghai Bund Street Office felt "particularly concerned": more than 6,000 elderly residents of the 20,000 people in the streets, of which 907 were the elderly living alone.

Liu Xiaoyan is a cadre of the Ruifu Community in Bund Street. It is also the "big white" responsible for arranging the situation of the elderly in the community in the epidemic. At the end of March, she sounded Grandma Ding's door: Grandma Ding, 79, lived alone in her husband's house, with 15 households on the first floor. Listening to the neighbor said that Grandma Ding often picked up the rusty iron door and looked out in obsessively.

On April 12, during the sixth visit of Liu Xiaoyan, Grandma Ding was finally willing to open the iron door and sat in the corridor to chat. Grandma Ding was stubborn with a messy hair and empty eyes. No matter what Liu Xiaoyan said, she just nodded silently before shaking her head, as if she was "separated by a wall."

"I feel uncomfortable to see others." Grandma Ding said. At this moment, Liu Xiaoyan knew the reasons why the grandma "Wang Wang" was "Zhang Wang": The coal guard in the husband's room was beside the public corridor. The uncle and aunts stir -fry in the iron pot. Grandma Ding's two sons, one abroad and one is hiding in debt.

The duplication during the epidemic made Liu Xiaoyan see an aging community shrouded in lonely.

"They need to be 'hear'." Wang Shu, director of the Bund Street Service Office. On March 28, the Street Office specially established the Electric Union Group, with a total of 55 members, serving the elderly in the epidemic. At the beginning, the task of the group was to meet the needs of the elderly in the epidemic, but the team members often answered the phone and heard a sentence from the opposite side: "Can you chat with me?" There are more than 60 elderly people, and the average call time is more than half an hour.

Liu Xiaoyan had previously received a complaint. The 80 -year -old Mrs. Zhu has been reluctant to sign and support the water meter in the building. I repeatedly asked. Old Mrs. Zhu talked about the truth: "I just think no one cares about me, and I want them to know me. "According to Liu Xiaoyan's observation, there are not a few elderly people who live similar to Grandma Ding and Mrs. Zhu.

In May this year, the nursing staff of the neighborhood committee carried Grandma Ding to the hospital. Her appetite is getting worse and worse. She can't eat bread and the like, and can only rely on milk such as milk. At the end of May, Grandma Ding left, and her sons did not return.

Faced with death, Liu Xiaoyan realized that the old people needed physiological care and professional psychological guidance, which needed to seek forces outside the community. In March of this year, the Bund Street Office commissioned Chen Jianping's team to start providing psychological counseling services for some "demanded" alone old people.

On May 3rd, the team's psychological counselor Hu Ying "heard" Grandma Zhang's voice through the screen: Grandma Zhang was 70 years old and lived alone in the second -level old mile of the street. Essence Hu Ying is the "most believed person" of the elderly -every voice of Grandma Zhang is 60 seconds. At most, dozens of pieces are posted, which adds up to more than an hour. Generally, new news will be available every two or three days. "As long as I reply, whether it is voice or text, the emotions of the elderly will be much more stable." Hu Ying said.

The psychological dilemma behind "hear"

As early as 2019, Chen Jianping's team cooperated with Pengpu Xincun Street in Shanghai. Pengpu Xincun Street is also a serious aging community. As of June 2019, the elderly population in the streets accounted for about 41%of the total household registration population.

In early 2019, Chen Jianping completed a community survey in the streets of Pengpu New Village. She concluded data: Among the 3,200 elderly objects surveyed, there were 1,414 patients with depression, of which 96 were severe depression. These elderly people lack professional psychological counseling intervention.

These old people in the predicament often show emotions such as loss, anxiety, and fear. Chen Jianping remembers that Aunt Li, 86, asked her quietly: "Will the cremation hurt after people die? Will she dream of dreams to her loved ones? Is there a soul in the world?" She feels that she will leave every day, but her family does not have Listen to these "strange questions" patiently; 66 -year -old Auntie Bian's aunt picked up some worthless debris on the street every day, and piled up on the aisle outside the door. Psychological station in the streets of Pengpu Xincun. Ding Jianyun, a psychological counselor, joined the team at this time, and provided home psychological counseling services for the elderly on the streets of Pengpu Xincun since 2020. She found that the "knot" in the hearts of the old people often lies in the shadow of diseases, family and past.

At the beginning of 2020, Ding Jianyun looked at Wang Grandma, who was silent for 20 minutes in front of him: his face was swollen and embarrassed. She "embedded" her fat body in the sofa, no matter what Ding Jianyun said, her eyes always stared at the ground.

Seeing the grandmother's son walking into the living room, Ding Jianyun tried to break the deadlock: "Come and sit." She pulled the opponent's hand. Ding Jianyun clearly remembered that at this time, the grandmother's eyes moved. After five or six minutes, she tried to move her body to herself and whispered, "I have something wrong."

Like the cocoon, Ding Jianyun revealed the shadow of Grandma: Ten years ago, he suffered from lupus erythematosus to take hormones. Sometimes the 22 -year -old autistic son sometimes slapped himself. Her husband suffered from diabetes. There is a room in common, but there is no conversation with each other.

Grandma said to Ding Jianyun, "Blame me." She thought that her son was suffering from autism. She often opened her eyes at night, and finally woke up when she was before the day, and sometimes tears couldn't control flowing out. Once, she returned from her hometown, and her son suddenly didn't know her. She panicked: "I have felt very empty and weak in my heart for a long time." She didn't dare to go out.

Ding Jianyun observed that since the epidemic in 2020, Grandma further "sleepy" at home, and was even more anxious: she was worried about the body of the mother in the country but could only be WeChat videos. She turned on the TV for a day and put on a Chinese medicine program, and occasionally she felt that the eyes of the people around me had "weird". "She seems to be alone." Ding Jianyun said.

Since the outbreak of the epidemic in March this year, the team carried out online psychological counseling and psychological counseling services for more than 200 old people in Shanghai. Today, Chen Jianping is still worried that some community activity rooms and other public places have closed from time to time due to the epidemic, and more elderly people will not be able to get spiritual comfort from social networking, and aggravate negative emotions such as loneliness, anxiety, depression.

"Be careful" intimate relationship

"The old man is like a stubborn child. They are unwilling to change easily." Generally, Chen Jianping and his party need to coordinate and accompany the neighborhood committee to see some service objects. Even so, sometimes they are still regarded as "coming scammers".

Liu Xiaoyan said that many elderly people in the streets would resist "psychologists", and consulting and care are more likely to "open the door."

Psychological counselor Wang Chen joined the team in 2020 and has served three elderly people so far. In 2020, Wang Chen saw Grandpa Chen in the eyes of everyone: In the wooden room with miscellaneous things and dust, Grandpa stood on the stairs overlooking her and hummed coldly: "You just change the way Come and tease me! "The old man's son was imprisoned, his family left, and he was still raising the granddaughter with Internet addiction. The neighborhood committee and the public security went to his house many times to ask. But Wang Chen "a little different." For a year, she drove 30 kilometers to Grandpa Chen's home in Zhoupu each time. When she left, Grandpa suddenly ran over and stuffed a stack of banknotes in her hand. Wang Chen was a little puzzled and then reacted: Grandpa wanted to subsidize her fare.

In the eyes of Chen Jianping, the biggest difference between psychological health volunteers and social workers is the "border sense": psychological counselors will not involve too much intervention of the elderly, and will maintain a proper sense of distance with the elderly during consultation, while protecting the privacy of the elderly. "They need you, but they don't want to be your burden." Chen Jianping said.

Hu Ying felt that Grandma Zhang was a little "careful" and always worried about "disturbing her". She and Grandma Zhang had a WeChat call, but because the children at home had to be interrupted. Since then, Grandma Zhang has never called Hu Ying anymore, and has always left a message. After that, she will add a sentence, "Didn't it affect you?" Hu Ying promised her: "Take your time, I will listen carefully. "

In the sense of "careful", the intimacy of "moisturizing" is also growing quietly.

In April 2020, Chen Jianping, who had just begun to work after the epidemic, was busy with his job. As soon as she turned on her mobile phone, she found that her call records had not been called, and they all came from the same strange number. "I want to reply to one, in case there is an important thing." After a few long sounds, a anxious voice of an old man came across: "Is it Teacher Chen? Are you okay? I ..." Chen Jianping then thought that in two or three days, he called the elderly who lived alone in the team who had served recently. For a few minutes, the old man repeatedly asked Chen Jianping's physical condition in the epidemic. "We are very good, don't worry." The "chattering" opposite finally stopped: "That's good, that's good." Hanging the phone, Chen Jianping suddenly remembered that the old man didn't seem to mention what he needed.

On May 8th, it happened to be Mother's Day. Hu Ying's WeChat received a photo shared by Grandma: she was sitting on the bed of the square cabin with a bunch of flowers in her hand. Although she was wearing a mask, she looked in her eyes. I laughed very sweetly. "See" yourself in the connection

Ding Jianyun often said to Grandma Wang: "Life cannot be as good as you think, but it will not be as bad as you think. Whether it is good or bad, people need to be strong. Beyond her own imagination. "This is a sentence that she is excerpted from Mo Pangsan's works.

Ding Jianyun was a medical worker. In 2015, Ding Jianyun resigned and returned home because of the disabled husband and the elderly parents who were sick. Facing the sudden change of life, she felt at a loss: "It seems that no one can see me at once." In early 2016, Ding Jianyun accidentally opened the door of psychology because of a chance to meet Chen Jianping because of a chance. "You can't stay at home all the time," Chen Jianping said to her. Under the introduction of the other party, Ding Jianyun entered the field of psychological counseling and started professional learning. "(At that time) I just felt that I needed psychological consultation, and I never thought of serving others." Ding Jianyun said.

After taking the national second -level psychological counselor's certificate, Ding Jianyun participated in a live observation. She saw many old people who were frowning when they came. After consulting, her expression stretched a lot. At that moment, she made up her mind: to be a real psychological counselor to help the elderly in these difficulties. She did not expect that she had adhered to the "impulse" for three years.

"I feel that I have become useful." Ding Jianyun said. She said that she was irritable, angry, and fast, but now she is gentle and patient. She couldn't write a long article with a computer before, and now she can open the screen to record the story of the old people. Ding Jianyun can clearly remember each consultation object, but she has always had a regret: there was no service to the first old man who came to the consultation. Nodded, she couldn't remember what she said. "

Chen Jianping also felt the same as Ding Jianyun.

In 2006, Chen Jianping, who was still studying a postgraduate student, gave up the idea of ​​setting up to pay attention to the organization of psychological health society. She has worked in clinicians for eight years, and often feels incompetent in the face of the passage of life. The conversion of the disciplinary track makes her believe that psychological society makes limited life more meaningful.

But it was not easy to establish the people at the time. In 2009, Chen Jianping finally entered the school after graduating from graduation and engaged in mental health management. "(But) I still always move that idea." Chen Jianping recalled that there are many party members in the community in colleges and universities. Every time she enters the community to carry out psychological lectures, she will find that more and more elderly people who need psychological help need more and more elderly people who need psychological help. Essence

In 2017, Chen Jianping, who graduated for ten years, attended a university teacher and student gathering. After a meal, Chen Jianping inadvertently mentioned the wish of "doing elderly mental health services". She did not expect that the classmates looked at her seriously: "What are the difficulties, we can find a way together." Chen Jianping stunned, and she decided to pick up "the idea". In the same year, the certificate was applied for a certificate. "The moment I finished the certificate, I felt that there was an inexplicable thing in my heart." Chen Jianping said.

Chen Jianping mentioned that the team had only five or six companions when it was established. "Pulling the relatives in the family and then girlfriends." At present, there are more than 50 members in the team, most of which are "post -70s" national second -level psychological counselor, and about 30 "active and stable" are "active and stable".

However, Chen Jianping admits that the team also has the trouble of "not being seen".

The project of the elderly psychological volunteer service is not easy to pass the project, which means that the team's funding will be less and less. "For so many years, I have rely on 'brushing their faces'." Chen Jianping said that the community rarely support the elderly mental health at present. She invested in the project every year. Once the judges opposite looked serious, they frowned and asked, "Do you think the happiness of the elderly can be quantified?" Chen Jianping was silent, and she knew that "died." In the first year of its establishment, the team did not have any income. Moreover, in recent years, the focus of social psychological volunteer services is more about adolescents. The public and relevant departments have paid more attention to the physiological needs of the elderly, such as the combination of medical care and long protection.

Professional psychological counselor's resources are also limited. After 2017, the national second -level psychological counselor's certificate was stopped, and the consultants who had previously obtained the certificate insisted that the number of social work was not large. Therefore, most of Chen Jianping's team is middle -aged people 40 to 50. These consultants have their own jobs, and people need to take care of their children and families in middle age ... Chen Jianping can give them a reward, often with only a meager subsidy and the publication of the case set.

On June 20, 2022, the "Notice on Carrying out the Psychological Caring for Elderly" issued by the National Health and Health Commission showed that the state decided to select 1,000 urban communities and 1,000 rural administrative villages nationwide from 2022 to 2025 to carry out elderly psychological care At the end of the "Fourteenth Five -Year Plan" period, in principle, at least one community or village in each county (city, district) across the country has an elderly psychological care point. This is undoubtedly good news for Chen Jianping.

"Once the old man took care of me, we now take care of them." The middle -aged psychological counselor joked: "Everyone will be old, don't be forgotten by then." Liberation Daily · Shangguan News original manuscript, reprinted without allowing it without permission, reprinting is strictly prohibited.

Author: Feng Rui

WeChat Editor: Ta Ni

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