What to tell the consultant when consulting, 6 small tricks to help you "open the pattern"

Author:Simple psychology Time:2022.06.23

After a few consultations, there is nothing to talk about?

Sitting in front of the consultant, the brain is blank?

This article will tell you some of the little tricks that "don't know what to say" during the consultation.

"OK, I'm here. We have talked about my past, my family, and my current symptoms. But I feel stuck.

I don't know what to discuss next. What should I say? "

If you have already paid a period of time with psychological counseling, you should resonate.

Every time you consult, everything goes well. You are discovering your own new knowledge. New insights are constantly lit a small bulb on your head. The conversation between you and the consultant is also carried out in a comfortable rhythm. Nods and ideas continue to emerge in your mind, so that you want to make an appointment for two small sections.

But next time you consult, you have a blank brain. You don't know where to start. All the topics you said before seem to be bored, and there are no new topics in your mind.

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You start to worry about you wasting time and money. Do you ask your psychological counseling if you are not working? Or you have done everything you can, maybe it's time to end. You are even worried that you will disappoint your consultant, and she may start to feel that you are a tricky visitor.

When these ideas are rotating in your mind, you will keep noticing until the needle and embarrassing silence in the house. Some of you hope that this consultation can end immediately, but the other part of you hopes to solve this situation and quickly return to the last good state.

Does this happen to you? I don't know if I am the first person to use the word "consulting constipation", but this is the name I gave to this phenomenon. The information about feelings, relationships, and knowledge is somewhere in your mind, but it is unwilling to come out.

Sitting on another chair may call this manifestation as "resistance" or "defense", but they are a bit exaggerated. You may just need some promotional agents to help you let the whole system work again.

There are some little tricks I think I can help:

speak out

It is better to talk to your consultant about this situation than pushing away your feelings and completing your consultation. The feelings mentioned above are worthy of becoming a topic of consultation. And since you have such an experience, you might as well take some opportunities to add some insights to yourself and see why you get stuck.

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Does it feel like this other time? Will this kind of stuck feel has its own function in your life, maybe it is to protect you or hinder you? Will there be any problems that need to be solved between you and the consultant? Why do you feel stuck today? These are all topics worth consulting.

Give yourself more time

Many visitors will appear in the consulting room on time and rush directly from work. After traffic conditions, they strive to find parking spaces. This is not difficult to understand why they are difficult to enter the state of psychological counseling. If you start in a hurry, it is really difficult to slow down to enter the consultation mode.

So compared to the standard 50-minute consultation, it is better to get to 5-10 minutes earlier, let you sit down for a while and sort out your thoughts. I will further suggest that you don't spend time on your mobile phone. Try to sit there for a few minutes and not be disturbed by anything. What you need to talk about may emerge.

record

What I always heard from my visits is "Oh! I think of something today, but I can't remember it now."

Pick a good -looking notebook from the bookstore, carry and record some important ideas, ideas or problems you thought for a week. He does not need to be the long daily record that starts with "dear diary", and only requires a few words or sentences. Especially the records after each consultation, you can help you write down before you evaporate in your busy life.

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Another advantage is that after you have done a period of psychological counseling, read these records again, and you can see your progress all the way.

"What do I want?" And "How do I feel"

Most of the psychological counseling will eventually be attributed to these two issues. So they can be used as a "base" in your consultation. If you sometimes feel stuck and don't know what to say, you can always return to these two basic issues. You can even talk about these problems loudly, which can help your consultant understand what you are thinking.

Sit for a while

You think you are getting stuck temporarily and don't know what to say. Compared to barely spit out some words to fill in the blank, it is better to sit in silence for a while.

In psychological counseling, silence is not only common, but also nothing to be afraid. If you and your consultant can cope with silence, you may find yourself relaxed slowly, and naturally have something to say.

Picture source: "Benjamin Barton Wonder"

Some people have a strong need for performance and achievements, so that they do nothing in a few minutes, which may be the most difficult (and most nutritious) job in consultation for them.

Rescue

Sometimes, my visitors want me to assist her: "I don't know what to say today, can you ask me some questions?" This is not a bad thing. The visitors can recognize his dilemma and take the initiative to ask for help. Sometimes I help, but I can accurately ask the probability of the topic related to the visitors today. We can fill the time by asking the visitors some important questions, but in this way, the consultation gradually becomes not about her thought but my thoughts.

She may think on her way home: "Well, it is very interesting, but what I really want to say is ____". So I will encourage visitors to spend some time to think about their needs before seeking help.

I think the first five can be regarded as a promoter, and the rescue soldiers are a dose of laxative. It will be useful when it is really uncomfortable, but it also needs to be controlled.

Occasionally, the card shell is inevitable during the consultation process. Maybe we can alleviate the "consultation constipation" by discussing this issue with the consultant and recording some words and phrases ourselves. Of course, if you encounter a consultant who matches you very much, the probability of jams may be greatly reduced. If you are also looking for suitable psychological counseling, our "psychological physical examination" service may help you accurately and efficiently.

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This article compiles, the original link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-dherapy/200805/therapy-constification