After reading "Clamer" to understand: the essence of marriage is not love

In the 1870s, a novel swept the United States.

The unmarried person read it and recognized the truth of the marriage; the married person read it and found the way to solve the marriage crisis.

This is the "Clamer" of the family philosophy master Corman, a novel known as the "marriage guide" by the American media.

The plot of "Klemer" seemed to be bland, but brutally tore the true face of marriage.

In the book, Ted and Joanna were a pair of fairy couples. However, one day after marriage, Joanna suddenly proposed a divorce.

Zhang Ailing said: "Feelings are fragile, can withstand storms, but can't stand ordinary."

For a moment, the wind and waves cannot defeat the true heart, but the long water flow will change the temperament of people.

In life, too much like Joanna and Ted's lovers, in the endless trivial matters after marriage, were exhausted and went to discrete.

And when we read "Clemmer", we will understand that the essence of marriage is not love at all.

Perfect love,

It will also be defeated to the garlic in the marriage

At a party, Ted and Joanna fell in love at first sight.

The two were in love with each other, and soon they were happy.

After marriage, no matter how busy, Ted will remember to surprise Joanna;

After Joanna was pregnant, Tude learned various nursing knowledge and spoiled her to heaven.

Regardless of the night when Ted go home, Joanna has prepared dinner and wait for him;

Jo Anna will silently support behind him in the workplace.

They once firmly believed that they would always love each other.

However, after birth, trivial matters followed, and their life after marriage was hazy.

In order to give a better life for his wife and children, Ted worked hard in the workplace and could not take care of his family as before.

In order to take care of his family, Joanna became a full -time housewife and rushed to children and family.

In the early morning, Joanna got up to cook.

After sending her husband to work, she had to play with the wake -up child.

After coaxing the child, rushing to lunch, but as soon as he touched the stove, the child cried again.

She had to hold the baby in one hand and cook with one hand.

In the afternoon, she went to buy daily necessities again. After some careful calculations, she carried a large bag and a small bag.

Ted still loves her, but those gifts only made her feel money and hurt.

And his concern has no substantial help.

The sweetness of love is gradually unable to resist the suffering of life.

Joanna expects Ted to save her in the depth of housework, but Ted is deeply caught in the hot money.

In the end, Joanna collapsed, and she decided to escape endless trivial matters and pressures to end the marriage.

In order to retain her, I did not know that Joanna could not stand today's life because of this, but she never loved him anymore.

Zhu Deyong said:

High -difficult love is the moonlight, poetry, 365,000 roses, and eternity; the difficulty of difficulty is a book, certificate, 365,000 quarrels, plus patience.

When you fall into the river, you can drink water; after entering the marriage, you know that Wu Doumi can make people fold.

No matter how gorgeous the marriage is given to the marriage, the marriage is all the place.

Although love is a prerequisite for marriage, life has proved again and again that maintaining marriage cannot rely on love.

Only those who have always kept a sober cognition at all times can not be fascinated by Fenghua Xueyue, bravely on the rain and snow after the marriage, and not being destroyed by the contrast.

Couple who knows "equivalent exchanges",

I will feel distressed to each other

When the two met, Joanna was decently working, and her salary was comparable to Ted, so she could be evenly matched.

However, after having a child, she retired the nanny, rejected her parents to help bring the baby, and resigned as a housewife.

A few years later, Ted was promoted to the vice president, but Joanna had no income.

The economic gap between the two became bigger and bigger, and Joanna was extremely anxious, but could only work hard to save money.

She was reluctant to spend the money given by her husband for several years.

However, with his own salary, he was comfortable with his heart.

The career of the career glowed the spirit, but endless housework eliminated Joanna's beauty, buried her talents, and even made her disconnected from society.

When Tude encountered a problem, she could no longer give good strategies, and even asked some stupid words and added more troubles.

As a result, the common language of the two was decreasing.

The less conversations, the more insecure Joanna.

But the more she worked hard to talk to Tude, and became more and more aware that he no longer listened.

Finally, Joanna was unbearable. She wanted to return to the workplace, but was strongly opposed by Tude.

The quarrel broke out, and Ted even said:

"Your salary can't afford the money of hiring nanny, why bother? I have worked hard to make money and support my family. Don't put pressure on me anymore!"

Joanna was deeply tingled. It turned out that she had exhausted everything for the family. In the end, in the eyes of her husband, it was not worth the value of a nanny.

Both felt that they had a huge sacrifice, but they did not get the equivalent return, so they were suspicious and no longer distressed each other.

Even if he knew Joanna needed to help her, Ted deliberately talked to the leader to go home late, and ignored her;

Despite knowing that he traveled away and let Tude bring his baby alone, it would make him work to be distracted and unsuccessful, and Joanna also decided to leave.

Economist Xue Zhaofeng said: "Marriage is a partnership between the husband and wife."

To maintain this contract, "equivalent exchange" is the first principle.

In the marriage, one party invested in a net worth and should be considerate; one party paid energy and naturally asked for respect.

When they are evenly matched, the two people cherish each other; they may not be exchanged, and they may move towards each other; they will not get a return, and they will eventually be scattered. Three -cherished complaints always want to get in the marriage; first -class couples know how to compare their hearts and be demanded.

Couple with spiritual advancement,

In order to stimulate the "stamina" of marriage

After Joanna left, Tude had to raise her son alone.

But he has been accustomed to having a wife to take care of everything, and he will not even do meals.

On the first day, he burned himself and was late with his son.

Next, the father and son were frequent.

The child is changing, and the last second smiling is bright, and the next second is crying. Ted is noisy every day;

The child is entangled with others. He wants to work purely for a while, but the child has to attack him, and even destroys his documents several times;

The child was naughty. He just didn't look at it for a second, so he climbed up the elevated and fell down. There were ten stitches in the corners of his eyes ...

He only understood how hard Joanna had worked hard before.

He regrets that he can only learn all kinds of life skills with scalp, and improve his empathy ability in the running -in with his son.

Joanna walked away from California and entered the workplace, and was frustrated everywhere.

The boss asked to be tricky, always rejected her plan, let her work overtime over and over again, and deducted her salary;

Colleagues not only looked down on her, but also pushed her all the tasks and responsibilities, so that she would be wronged ...

She understood how difficult it was.

She regretted that she could only grit her teeth and advance, and exercised emotional management in getting along with others.

After 18 months, the two met again, and they could understand each other more than in the past.

Because I have tasted the suffering of the other party, I know how to swallow too much grievances.

Eventually they embraced each other and returned to good.

There is a saying: "Life is a long -distance running. It is not explosive power, but a step -by -step endurance."

No matter how hot love is, it is not the fleeting fireworks; a long -term marriage requires spiritual stamina.

Couples who have stamina can tolerate each other's shortcomings, accept the anger of each other, cure each other's pain, and then support each other to continue to move forward.

If you want to have a long time, the best way is to improve yourself, keep your spirit as frequent as the other party, and go to the same future in unison.

The reason why "Klemer couple" swept the world is because each couple can find their own shadow:

Married because of love, but the relationship was cracking due to the heavy pressure of life; because he was accustomed to paying the other party, he gradually sparsed back, leading to gradually drifting away.

Later, I realized that only when growing with each other can we look at each other.

Some people say: "Love is spark, beauty and shortly; marriage is a fire, and it needs to be continuously added to continue."

The main tone of marriage is realism. It is not like love at all, and it will not be full of romance.

The essence of marriage is more like a practice. Behind all the smooth sails needs to work together.

All good marriage needs to be implemented to Chai Miyan and salt;

Any lovers who cherish each other should implement "equivalent exchange";

All lasting relationships must be able to bear the long way to go ...

May you and I recognize the essence of marriage in this shaking red dust; find a partner in the sea of ​​hundreds of millions of people; in the signs of the world, gain a long and strong true feelings.

I also hope that all their relatives can find the way to get along among thousands of hardships.

Author | Yu Qing, write articles with heart, warm the world warmly, and want to make progress with you every day.

Picture | Network (if there is any infringement, please contact delete)

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