People who often "build a perfect person" in the circle of friends are not suitable for friends

A few days ago, my husband talked about his colleague Liangzai, and said, "He is simply a drama."

I didn't believe it, so I looked at my husband's circle of friends, only to find that this person's life could be called a large -scale show of "perfectionist".

In life, get up early every day to make exquisite meals for the whole family;

At work, whether it is the requirements of the leadership or the difficulties of the customer, he has dealt with it just right;

In addition to busy, reading, drinking tea, listening to music, watching dramas, and peaceful and peaceful in life.

What is even more "admirable" is that Liang Zai still exposed him to the nursing home as a volunteer in detail to donate to children in the mountains.

Picture source: panorama vision

There are four or five friends a day, each of which seems to be saying, "Look, I live a perfect life."

However, in fact, Liangzai's work performance is average. There are few friends in the company, and there are at most two people who like it under the circle of friends.

Husband said, "Except for false, he can't find other shortcomings."

In fact, many people's circle of friends have a "Liangzai", which strives to build a "perfect person", which makes people can't help but envy, jealous, doubt, and even disgust.

I do n’t know when, the WeChat circle of friends has become distorted. People seem to forget the original intention of sharing life, but to start a competition of “creating people”.

Although life is like a drama, everything is too much, excessive rise, highlighting perfection, the result can only be suffering and disturb others.

The circle of friends with refined decoration is not credible; people who are too perfect are not allowed.

The perfect person in the circle of friends is mostly unbelievable

There was once a news that "relying on the perfect person in the circle of friends, and the post -90s girls who cheated 14 million", and became popular on the Internet.

About 2 years ago, the post -90s girl Lu Mou won many people's worship through their high consumption, work performance and ladylike life in the circle of friends.

She took a while to take a new mansion she bought, and said "work is too busy to fly up", and posted photos with a luxury store with a girlfriend.

From the perspective of the circle of friends, Lu fulfilled all our imagination of "President Qianjin".

However, one day, Lu began to borrow money on the grounds that his friends thought the money was saved, and he promised to pay high interest.

Many people have never seen her. Only with the wonderful circle of friends, they easily believe in her and contribute generously. As a result, all of them were fooled, and 14 million were filled with the bottomless hole of Lu's online lending.

With the police investigation, Lu gradually showed his true face.

She dropped out of school without graduating from junior high school. She first did sales at a real estate company, and then she was too lazy to work and got involved in online lending.

Without economic sources, she has been "dismantling the east wall to make up the west wall" in recent years.

Each refined beauty picture, each successful study document, and every meal of mountains and sea flavors are the silk thread of her weaving giant network, which eventually harmed others and stuck herself.

In today's world, social networks simplify the cost of interpersonal communication, making "understanding" a person and becoming extremely simple.

Think of ourselves, why not identify friends through the circle of friends?

Who is "living", who is "punching madness", and who is "five good husbands", we are accustomed to the "human settings" of nothingness, but their true colors are blurred.

This technique of knowledge seems to be the only way we know each other in virtual society.

But don't forget that there are no perfect people in the world. The more perfect, the more unreliable.

After all, under the dazzling light, there are shadows, and everyone has an unknown "hidden corner".

Picture source: panorama vision

Behind the Perfect Man's Design is a "performance personality"

In 1956, Owen Gofman, chairman of the American Sociology Association, put forward the concept of "impression management".

He said: "The interest of individuals always lies in controlling the behavior of others, especially the external response."

To this end, people will use some strategies to modify their own image and influence their views on themselves.

Socially like a stage show. Some people always want to stand under the spotlight for the eyeballs and make their debut, so they spare no effort to create a "perfection".

Some psychologists analyze that behind this behavior, most of them are "performance personality".

This personality may be related to the unfortunate childhood, maybe it is not sure, or it may be from the deep -rooted vanity;

And those who have this personality, there is only one focus of life: want to be seen, praised, head -out, and becoming a leader.

Just like Qi Xi in the short drama "Hear her", she would rather spend 3 hours a day to make up, just to show a beautiful photo in the circle of friends, just for the sake of shame and harvesting the praise from the outside world.

In the past, she was laughed at as a "dog stick" because of her nose bridge, wide eyes, and black skin. In order not to be discriminated against, she decided to reshape herself with a circle of friends.

So, she got up early to turn a perfect makeup every day, and then found a stylish cafe, took a more perfect selfie, and sent it to the circle of friends.

Looking at the likes below the circle of friends, she can relieve her appearance and regain confidence.

Qi Xi was immersed in the performance and could not extricate himself, but the fake one could not be true. When she removed her makeup and turned off her mobile phone, she was still the distressed "ugly duckling".

Whether it is a liar Lu, or Qi Xi in the film, in the final analysis, they cannot plead to their true self.

In order to live the life they want, they all walked into a "perfect" strange circle, trying to use the bright shell of the circle of friends to achieve the counterattack of life.

No one is perfect, who has a short board; life is not easy, and everything can go well.

Seeking happiness by camouflage, the result is likely to collapse and abandon the prevalence.

Blind pursuit of perfection, bittering yourself, and pushing away from others

"People's Daily" once described the "perfect person" of the circle of friends:

In order to dry the cooking skills, give a weird dish, carefully shine;

For the show, three or five comments have been posted before reading a book ...

The more elaborate the circle of friends, the easier it is to be anxious in reality, and always worry about the collapse of the "human settings". Even if the person sets up, it will make others feel embarrassed and gradually away.

In Zhihu, I have seen a sharing of netizens@在 在.

He said that when he first arrived in Beijing, he met the small text of the barber shop and added WeChat.

He found that Xiaowen made himself a "fighter jet in North Drifting" in the circle of friends, and there was a room for money and a career.

"Listening to the rain, it feels good to drink coffee in Starbucks."

"Breakfast for five -star hotels is not the same, it is better to do it by yourself."

"Living in the hutong of the old Beijing, listening to the pigeons every day, waking up facing the dawn."

But one day later, netizens saw Xiao Wen wrote such a sentence in the circle of friends: "It's too difficult, don't pretend."

Taking the opportunity of haircuts, netizens have touched Xiaowen's life, but they are actually stretched.

He and a dozen clerk were crowded in a collective dormitory of less than 30 square meters. They were greedy and black every day. They were all over the year, but their monthly wages were not enough to live in five -star hotels for one night.

Gradually, Xiaowen felt that he was getting farther and farther and more anxious in his heart.

What's more, many old friends always met with some sour words, and slowly alienated him.

Picture source: panorama vision

Some sociologists point out:

"The Internet has given people the freedom to show people to the greatest extent, which has contributed to the release of the ideal and self. In the cage of self -expression. "

I have to sigh, "pseudo -exquisite" really makes himself exhausted, but also pushes others, alienated feelings.

Reject the shackles of the circle of friends and be a true self

Some netizens have summarized the N kinds of people in the circle of friends:

"Michelin Gourmet", "Fitness Madness", "Learning Elite", "Travel Master", "Charity" ...

If you don't believe it, you can always find one or two people to get a seat in the circle of friends now.

In fact, most of us are ordinary and ordinary, and have the most common human nature.

In the face of setbacks, you will be discouraged. If you want to lose weight and persist, you can't find time if you want to learn.

Inner goodness but limited ability, it is difficult for people to live in the world, and often worry about trivial troubles and entangle with rotten people.

But no matter what, accept destiny, recognize yourself, and be a real person, it is better to live a "dummy" who lives into a virtual world.

Being frankly and seeing your own shortcomings can only explore and improve in reflection, step by step;

On the contrary, it is a kind of escape and self -deception with "human settings" to cover up the truth and raise the value with lies.

In 2014, the China Youth Daily conducted a social survey of 30,000 people.

The results show that 66.5%of the respondents have selfies, and 31.1%of the respondents will publish their selfies to the Internet.

In the motivation of sending a circle of friends, one -third of "Show and Show off" is topped by the list.

Why do we show off?

I want to get higher praise and give ourselves a kind of "better than others", but ask ourselves, is we in the circle of friends?

Old saying cloud: "There are countless spring flowers, after all, why is the autumn?"

Picture source: panorama vision

The flowers on the Internet are not as good as the earth in life.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said:

"Only by accepting incompetence, accepting those unsatisfactory things in his life, and accepting those incomplete tragedies can we embrace their truth."

Reject the shackles of the circle of friends, be a person who is bloody, crying and crying, and people who really like you will not go far. We will also gain a rate and calmness.

German thinker Habermas proposes that interaction must follow 3 validity requirements:

"The authenticity of judgment and statement, follow the legitimacy of norms, and express the sincerity of self."

"True" and "sincerity" can be described as the scarce quality of today's society.

It is precisely because of the lack of "real" that the friends of friends have become a shortcut to quickly sell themselves and create personal brands in the Internet age.

In fact, it is not wrong to build a person, and the mistake is that some people are attached to the "perfect man".

Click "watching", if you are being abducted by "Perfect Set", I hope this article can help you dispel this false halo.

If you have "too perfect" people around you, let this article become your boundary between you and him, go far away and keep distance.

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