[Psychological Health] Always thinking about the disadvantages, it is "negative automatic thinking"

A cup of water is half of the water, and some people who see will say, "Ah! There are half of the water!" It is optimistic. Some will say, "Ah! This glass of water is only half left!" It is pessimistic.

We often have ourselves or praise others for optimism, but pessimism is the common problem for most people.

01

We are always good at thinking about things.

Remember a paragraph that was very hot before? The girl said that if he called his boyfriend, if he mounted several times before answering or simply did not answer the phone, he felt he was stealing affection in minutes.

I remember when I was in love, I couldn't contact my boyfriend on WeChat or phone. In less than half an hour, I felt that he spent the sky outside. If you don't reply to me in an hour, you are worried that he is talking to other girls. If you do n’t contact all day, you will think that this person must not really love me. For him, I guess it is an optional spare tire. Because even if you really love me, you will take the time to respond to a few news when you are busy with me.

After this psychological activity, I will be sad for my stupidity, and when he finally contacted me, it is inevitable to make trouble.

After conflicting with his family or friends, he closed a door or opened a window slightly. He felt that he deliberately created the harsh noise to vent his dissatisfaction with me. As a result, my anger was inexplicable, and the result was that the atmosphere of discord was postponed again.

At work, the boss explained the task temporarily, and I was overdue. I was anxious to send the complete copy of the copy to his mailbox, and I couldn't see his reply after waiting for a long time. My mood was like an ant on the hot pot, which was so anxious. It's been so long, do you think the copywriting has done badly after reading it? The boss won't be disappointed with me ... this mood did not breathe until the boss replied: Yes, he was relieved.

In the group, I was cold as soon as I received a word. Do they all have opinions on me? Hate me?

I even heard that someone would worry about whether I had any illness when I suddenly had a headache, and would I die silently one night.

02

do you know?

It is negative automatic thinking.

The above example has a commonality, that is, the parties concluded the artificial grass rate without factual evidence, and identified unilateral guessing and assumptions as "facts". Psychologically called "automated thinking".

As the name suggests, automated thinking refers to the thinking, concepts and ideas that automatically generate in the brain. They are automatically appeared, and they do not need to work hard, and it sounds reasonable.

Automated thinking often appears in imagination, daydream and fantasy. For example, you can imagine the scene where you will date with your favorite object in your mind, and imagine that you will play well and so on. You may also appear in your mind that you will start the debate with people who hate tonight. You may also think of what he will blame you and how you will deal with him. You keep repeating those in your mind that may not happen, and you will not do it at all.

It is a negative automatic thinking to think about the disadvantages. After a long period of research, American psychologist Elis summarized 12 most common negative automatic thinking.

1. Polarization

That is, the extreme thinking of "this is the other", just pay attention to the poles of things, ignore the middle stage. For example, "unsuccessful is failure", "either a good person or a bad guy."

2. "bad"

There is nothing worst, only worse, but we can easily regard what we encounter as "the most terrible" and "irreversible", thereby caught the bad emotions such as extreme anxiety and tension. For example, "I can't get into Tsinghua University, I will finish it completely", "She doesn't love me, I am the most unfortunate."

3. Excessive humility

In order not to let people say three or four, we habitually ignore or deny our positive qualities. For example, "This time is good because I am lucky", "I repaired the machine, but everyone can do it."

4. Emotional reasoning

The bad emotions look at it as a fact, and determine their own behavior. For example, "This person makes me uncomfortable, he must be a bad guy", "I feel so sad, it must be that he doesn't want me."

5. About negative label

Leave the actual situation and label yourself and others. For example, "My work is worthless, I am worthless."

6. Maximize/minimize

Exaggerate the negative surface and narrow the positive surface. For example, mathematics is good because of my good luck, and the language of Chinese just shows how stupid I am. In short, "I am not learning that material."

7. The heart of people

I think I can understand the minds of others, and take myself as a fact, neither other possibilities nor verify. For example, he didn't say hello when he met, it must be that he looked down on me.

8. Self -centered

I think everyone will think like themselves, and think that the way they see things are the way others see things, or insist that others should abide by the same value standards and standards of life as themselves. For example, I think women should handle housework, so my wife should pack housework.

9. Assumption = conclusion

If you don't look at the facts, the conclusion is directly drawn from the assumption. For example, today I went upstairs to take 13 steps. I heard that the number 13 is not auspicious. I am going to be unlucky today.

10.

A comprehensive conclusion is inferred by one or several things. For example, when I met a liar, I thought that there were scammers everywhere.

11. "should" and "must"

There are some concepts of accurate fixed, stereotypes, and using these concepts to restrain themselves and others. For example, I must be a successful person; I should win the appreciation of everyone; others must treat me fairly. 12. Don't believe in good evaluation of others

Don't believe others' good evaluation of themselves. For example, others praise me because there are no pictures, or politeness, or not understanding me.

I believe that many people see themselves from the 12 examples above.

03

Things are not as bad as we think,

It may even be beautiful.

But in fact, we will finally find that things are not as bad as we think, and even it may be beautiful.

There is a saying that the worst plan is to do the biggest effort.

In fact, sometimes making more bad plans can indeed enhance your ability to adapt to dilemma. However, once things are over, it is always bad.

Thinking about it, thinking about the bad side of the personnel will cause people to have different degrees of anxiety, nervousness, fear, irritability, etc. to varying degrees. In severe cases, it will affect your life state within a certain period of time, leading to severe anxiety or even depression.

Once, I was in danger, and I asked me to do things well. On the night of the task, I had insomnia for a long time. What appears in my mind is all concerns about smashing things tomorrow. The more suppressed it, the stronger this idea. As a result, the whole night was stunned, and a little sound woke up a little bit, and when he woke up, he was worried about it.

The fact is that the next day, with the huge dark circles, I made things smoothly. Yes, I "struggling" for seven or eight hours.

Why do we always think of things so badly for no reason?

1) These negative automatic thinking may be related to our expectations of affairs.

After the test, I was worried that we might hang the subject before the results came out, because our expectations for grades were high. After receiving the task, we must have various anxiety before doing it, because we have high expectations for our performance.

2) These negative automatic thinking may also be related to our own ideas.

For example, some people (especially women) will fully deny themselves after their marriage changes and label their "failure" to their lives. Because, in their opinion, marriage is a big event for women's life. Women who have no way to run their marriage are failed. They over -emphasize the responsibility of women's identity in a happy marriage and ignore an objective understanding of their actual ability. These ideas are often formed in the acquired environment.

04

How to get rid of this negative automatic thinking?

1. Delay anxiety and divert attention.

Delaying anxiety is a term I created. I believe that many people have found this fact: what happened to our excessive anxiety to the end is very small. So, once I found that my negative thinking began to operate, I would try to divert my attention.

For example, turn out the long -term list of myself, and watch one after another; for example, about three or two friends go to the rooftop to string; it takes time to make a coincidence, bubble your feet to bed, and cover the thick cup to sleep. ... After this special period, the facts often verify that your anxiety is right. Because things are not as bad as you think, it may even break through the beauty of your imagination.

2. List of negative automatic thinking.

In high school, my learning pressure was very stressful. In the case of stress, people are more likely to think about nervousness. I do n’t know if you find it. Every time a high -intensity test preparation is always easy to get rid of, the content of the depression is often the memories that make you embarrassed or bad.

Realizing that I was thinking, I would take out a piece of paper to write down my negative thoughts and anxiety. After the incident, write down the direction of the real thing. Collect these small notes, and every time the negative automatic thinking emerge, you can look at it. You will find that: Ah, I am embarrassed by myself. Gradually, my problems that I was in trouble and disadvantaged, and my problems improved.

3. Change the wrong concept and cognition

Compared with the previous two points, changing the wrong concept and cognition can cure negative automatic thinking, but it is also the most difficult. Many times, our thinking is deeply influenced by the wrong concept and we cannot know it. Because the occurrence of automated thinking is so fast, sometimes even a few seconds. Compared with the arise of intellectual analysis of emotions/thinking, we are more "heart -to -heart" that indulge in the current emotions/thinking that cannot be extricated.

At the same time, many wrong concepts/cognitions are ingrained with the experience and time in our minds. With their own strength, they often cannot successfully shake their foundations. Therefore, it is recommended that the degree of negative automatic thinking is too serious to contact the reliable psychological counselor for cognitive treatment. Under the correct guidance of the teacher, you can ensure the amendment of the error cognition/concept, thereby cure negative automatic thinking.

In the end, I hope we will not think about ourselves because of our own thoughts! You know, the matter has not yet been set, and the result can be the beauty that you can't imagine.

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