Can't digest the pain, it's hard to really grow

Foreword: The feeling and thoughts caused by a common chat about "doing housework" from Hepo Duo Mom, I personally think it is very valuable, so share it.

(1) Case of "digestion pain"

I didn't like to do housework before, at least not very positive, not that I couldn't, or I couldn't do well, but I felt that the housework was a waste of time for me to study or work.

When my heart is such an idea, my first reaction is basically to escape. If you can do it without doing, you can do it without doing it. Sometimes inexplicable irritability (now, it is undoubtedly an internal consumption).

Later, one day, I suddenly had a thoughtful change. I think: "Instead of escaping these things, why not try to find a way, how can it be done quickly and well." When this idea emerged in my mind, I was a little excited, and I felt that my mood was much bright instantly.

After we came down, I did it along this idea. As a result, I found that it was not as troublesome to complete these daily trivial things, and it could indirectly relax the brain. More importantly, it also helped me strengthen the "high -efficiency assignment assignment. "The ability, how good! Since then, the housework is no longer a "reluctant" and "reluctance" thing. I also want to thank it and thank it for becoming a carrier for me to exercise myself.

This approach has transformed the "pain" brought about by the original housework. I think it is very good. But then I discovered that this was not the best. Because the current time of doing housework is holding a "fast completion" mentality, doing this in your hand, what you think in your mind is the latter, not "living in the present". Although it can be done well every time, it feels more often at the moment of completion.

So I tried to adjust myself and started to feel. Washing dishes is washing dishes, sweeping the floor is sweeping the floor. Organization is to organize, feel the temperature of the water, the hardness of the floor, and the actual feeling of each item to the body. Sometimes I even make me feel: "Ah, this is what life looks like."

Frankly speaking, in the matter of "doing housework", if there was no uncomfortable and painful feeling such as "reluctance" it brought to me before, I guess it would be difficult to have this kind of ideological change. I transformed the "pain" I thought before, digested, and became a nutrient for my growth. So, I really want to thank every housework!

(2) Dance with pain

OK, "doing housework" is just an ordinary one that cannot be ordinary, ordinary can no longer be ordinary, and familiar things can no longer be familiar. In daily life, we will encounter and deal with all kinds of things every day. It's much, when you are doing one thing, especially if you like it, don't want to do it, or if you don't dare to do it, how do you face it? Do you want to escape as much as possible, or do you find a way to complete or learn from it?

These are two different mentions, but don't underestimate the differences between these two ideas, because the results brings to the matter are almost different. Don't underestimate any such "small things", because it is often not just a separate thing, but a model of your handling of things. The essence behind it is to retain the existing comfortable comfort , Or change myself now? (Of course, it will be a bit painful in the early stage)

People, instincts are to avoid harm, pursue happiness, and avoid pain. Almost everyone prayed for happiness and everything every day. But in fact, it has to be said that pain is a necessary "nutritional element" in the process of life.

Think about it, you learn a new ability, new skills, which process is not painful. Don't take a few sips of water, you can't swim, don't fall a few times, you can not learn to ride a bicycle. If you have no irritability and distress at all, you may not be able to go well. There is no pressure and challenge in your work. Your business is your business. Your business is your business. Your business is your business. The ability will not be too strong.

Anyone who seeks self -growth must know how to digest the pain that appears in themselves. Even for some people, in order to make themselves grow faster, they "create pain" for themselves. This is why some people continue to challenge themselves, such as going long -distance hikes, getting themselves half of their deaths, going into the inaccessible place, with fear of adventure, and even risking life to engage in extreme exercise.

How to digest in pain?

In fact, it is very simple (of course, it is not easy to do), the core is a sentence that is always talking: things itself is not the key, the key is how you look at this matter. That is to say, everything that brings you happiness or pain is not the matter itself, but how you think of it (the previous articles and videos have been talked about, and you do n’t talk about it here).

(3) Grasp "degree", balance pain and happiness

It is necessary to add here that "digestion pain" is not what we want to do. Then, before we have the ability to digest every pain, there is a more important point that needs to be recognized in advance.

As mentioned earlier, life needs to be accompanied by pain, but it is by no means that you have lived in a painful life, and you can't be all painful and stressful in your life. First, life may not be able to ban this kind of toss. Second, even if it can be banned, such a life may not have much happiness at all. Of course, this problem is related to everyone's life value, not much to talk about).

There is a "degree" in everything, and the "rhythmic" is to be grasped, and so is the pain. Just like a tree, when it is still a small saplings, a little wind and rain don't have much to do with it. Even if a few leaves are dropped, a few small branches will not be a big deal. Essence And if it is a big storm, it may not be frustration, but a disaster. This pain may cause it to lose life. However, when this small tree grew up, a major storm at the same level may be a small challenge for it now.

Therefore, the so -called "degree" here is actually to match the growth state of a life body, suitable for his current happiness or pain.

This is the case for small trees, and children are the same (the same is true of life). Some parents told me that they listened to many education lessons. The teachers said that they should be affirmed and praised for children.

In my opinion, it is definitely important and necessary to accept and praise children, but I don't think it cannot be required and criticized for children. On the contrary, it is also necessary. However, there is an important premise to criticize and request children (this is very important, without this premise, then you better not give it), that is, what you say before, to grasp the scale and rhythm.

And this rhythm has only directional mentality, and there is no standard approach. Who wants to tell you what is 100%effective? I really don't want to say that he is a big flicker. Because the grasp of "degree" is different from time, local, and due to people, it is constantly changing. Because of this, the key difficulty of education is here. It requires you to keep exploring and adjusting itself in conjunction with yourself and reality.

I think the directional mind is in one sentence: challenge on the basis of happiness, and request it on the basis of love. This is the cornerstone of firmness and goodness, and it is also the essence of the golden mean. It is "rhythm", which is "degree".

Conclusion

There is a saying on the Internet: What you haven't done is growing up, what you don't want to do is called change, and what you dare not do is to break through. You will find that whether it is growth, changes or breakthroughs, it will definitely be accompanied by pain in the process.

Life, pursuing happiness, but at the same time, we must also adapt to dancing with pain, because life itself is a process of coexistence of happiness and pain. Understanding the purpose of this point is not to endure the pain or live a painful life, but to face its objective existence directly, not to escape it or complain about it, and then transform it and digest it into internal nutrition.

In fact, when you really learn to coexist with pain and can transform pain, congratulations, maybe you have really achieved and realized "happy every day, everything goes well".

bless you!

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Text | A little Teacher | Original

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