Psychology: Don't disclose your true situation to anyone, keeping silent is a kind of wisdom

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In the modern sense of social communication, "sincerity" is often a quality that people value, and the so -called "sincere change of sincerity".

Especially in East Asia, which is very deeply influenced by traditional Confucian culture, the first essential of "sincerity" as the first essence of treating people is almost a creed of many people.

However, the values ​​that were passed down in ancient times with "sincerity" as the first important righteousness were not to persuade everyone to reveal their hearts at any circumstances, but to implicit some information.

It is very simple. If you see a person who has never met for the first time, will you give your income, family information, etc. out? I believe most people will not do this.

This is the key: the "sincerity" that we should reflect in social interaction should be a level of attitude, that is, to tell the other party through our own words and deeds that there is nothing in the relationship with him without any communication with him. The sense of superiority can make this relationship not lose balance.

However, information about some inner emotions and information about your family still cannot tell others directly. Don't disclose your true situation to anyone, and keep silent is a kind of wisdom.

Philosophy and theory of social interaction

There are many in ancient Chinese values ​​that have been circulated through written forms or in the form of folk mouth. These contents can be said to have played very important revelation for us for a long time.

Similarly, in terms of social communication, we may wish to obtain new understanding from some sayings.

For example, in the research on the hexagram, there is a saying that "Qianlong is in Yuan, unpredictable, good hidden, good and defeated", which is intended to explain the dialectical concept of full water and the lack of Yueying. When things develop to the highest peak, they may start to go downhill.

In the process of social communication, those who are more self -righteous will often be negatively affected by the outside world in the process of communication, so that people who are good at hiding their true strength often can win the final victory Essence

In addition, "the wise man is not sharp, the wise is not proud; the conspirator does not show, the strong is not violent" is also expressing a wisdom that survives in social communication: those who really wisdom will not easily show their sharpness It will not be lingering with some so -called excessive places, which leads to the resentment of the people around me. Often, they are very calm and low -key.

It is true that these values ​​have been experienced by the ancients' summary of the ancients thousands of years ago, and some people may not recognize their gold content.

In fact, in the field of modern psychology research, interpersonal communication psychology is also a very important domain of the discipline, which is also a very important part of the discipline of psychology, sociology, and communication. Help us understand the science spoon of interpersonal relationships.

This field starts with several aspects such as personality psychology, interpersonal perception, psychological obstacles and debugging, communication skills, and interpersonal attraction. Taking interpersonal relationships as keywords, it has launched an analysis and understanding of different individual interaction in society.

Among the research of many scholars, many theoretical concepts have also emerged, including the over -limit effects, Hawthorne effects, and threshold effects that are familiar to people are related research results.

A key core of the theoretical paradigm about interpersonal psychology is to look at the perspective of the problem -when others look at themselves, they natural Starting from an angle, it is difficult to fully bring into the feelings of others.

This is a great restriction on the progress of the relationship, so this also tells us that when interaction, we can think more about interchangeation and abandon subjective thinking. After all, not everyone in the world will think and do things like themselves.

Silent: Keep your own real situation

The key factors of social communication have been analyzed from multiple aspects of ancient and modern Chinese and foreign aspects, so when we return to the "real situation" in the title again, we may wish to think in conjunction with the above -why should you not easily disclose your true situation easily. Woolen cloth?

1. Different from each other, it is difficult to empathize

In fact, the purpose of communication in many cases is to converge: when encountering sad things, communicating with friends to let the other party feel their pain and obtain some comfort; when I am happy, I will share with my relatives and friends around me. In order to make people with intimate relationships enjoy their happiness to a certain extent; when confused, finding friends to dig out the lungs naturally also want to find some ways to solve the problem from the other party ... so the purpose of frank communication is often based on both parties Albonally on the basis of empathy.

However, when you communicate based on your own real situation, whether it is the secret that is buried in the bottom of your heart, or specific income, or family contradictions, many times the other party is difficult to empathize. In the end Secret, the other party is powerless.

Therefore, this communication is difficult to achieve the expected results, and it is a meaningless communication.

2. People's hearts are unpredictable and may be persecuted

Of course, even if the real intimate person cannot be remembered, at least it will still respond to your information.

If you are a person who is not particularly close when you are in social interaction, or even a completely unfamiliar person, you just told your true situation for some reason, then once the other party is a person who is a heart -consuming person, naturally, naturally, naturally These things will affect your normal life as a threat. For a simple example, if in the workplace, you inadvertently told a colleague about the real situation of income -related revenue, and the colleague is just a unit with you without excessive communication, then this news is likely to be very likely It will become a trap that affects your work.

The same is true in other social interaction scenes. You think the frank treatments are likely to be unilateral, and the outside world's views on you are diverse.

You don't know who is sincere to you, who has been in your position for a long time, and you must find some "black materials" from you to get rid of your mind, so as to replace it.

Therefore, this can be said to be a bottom line in social interaction. No matter who you face, it is best not to put your true situation and disconnect. These things really only need to know.

only the guy drinking water knows it's cold or hot. Social exchanges are full of crisis and unknown. As a part of being wrapped in it, what can be done is to stabilize yourself.

-The End -Author | Edit of Tomada | Wanan First Psychological Main Water Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the starry sky: Jean piaget biography. (2020, January 29).

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