Poor cognitive is a killer of all relationships

Author: insight allergy

Be the best self and meet better others.

01

My high school classmate Xiao Li, we used to say nothing.

After graduating from college, I went to Beidiao alone. Xiao Li returned to his hometown to find a leisurely difference, and his life was leisurely.

Two years after graduation, we talked intermittently on WeChat.

Until the third year of North Drifting, I returned to my hometown from Beijing with a big bag.

Xiao Li thought that I was going back to my hometown to develop, and said, "Finally willing to come back, when will I buy a house to buy a car?"

I smiled and said, "I don't plan to buy a house for the time being. It is difficult to start a business. I will talk about it later."

He didn't understand: "The risk of entrepreneurship is so great, you must be cautious. If you go back to your hometown like me, you can live a life of buying a house and a car."

Because the circle of contact is different, I couldn't agree with Xiao Li's idea of ​​stable employment at home.

And Xiao Li has been in his hometown, and has been used to a comfortable life. Buying a car and buying a house is the top priority of life for them.

It is very agreed with a sentence: Cognition is an indescribable gap between people.

Poor cognitive is a killer of all relationships.

02

In life, I wonder if you have encountered such a situation?

You said that reading is important. He said that when someone graduated from elementary school, he still became a big boss;

You said that the outside world was wonderful, and he said that he had never lived a long time to live well.

There are always some people who work with him, he talks with you; you tell him strength, he talks to you.

There is a "personal theory" in psychology.

It means that a person's cognition is the concept formed by the past knowledge, experience, thinking, expectations, evaluation, etc. Every time we encounter the same or similar scene, we are used to judging with previous experience.

Just like the picture below- "shopping with your mother".

After my mother thought that her daughter had finished shopping, she should draw car water, high -rise buildings, and spoiled products.

But I did not expect that her daughter's paintings had only one leg.

Some writers said that a person's cognition determines the world he sees and the way he thinks about problems.

Different cognition, the world you see is different.

In the hit drama "Heart Live", Gu Qingyu, a uncle played by Tong Yao, is a new era of women in the new era.

She has a strong ability to work, holds as executives in the company, lives in high -end communities, and has aunt care for her life.

The people around them are either rich or expensive, and resources are everywhere.

As a partner of yoga together, she can help her get a list in three words; she can also easily contact the kidney -changing doctor through classmates.

Even such high -quality women, because they were not married at the age of 36, they were called "an old girl who couldn't marry" by Hai Qing's brother Feng Xiaoqin.

Feng Xiaoqin's culture is not high. He has been a full -time housewife at home for 8 years. He usually lives around a large family. Occasionally, he is with friends.

In Feng Xiaoqin's inherent cognition, women should marry and have children early and have a family.

In Gu Qingyu's eyes, enjoying work, enjoyment, and love is the meaning of living.

Different life experiences and different cognitions have caused the two to fight when they meet.

Zhuangzi once said: Well frogs cannot speak the sea.

Two people with different cognitive levels are difficult to communicate.

Really comfortable relationships must be aware of the same, and can talk together naturally.

Otherwise, getting along with each other is not speculative.

03

Once I saw a question on Zhihu: "Can people with different cognitive levels be friends?"

Due to the failure of the entrance examination, the subject went to a less ideal high school.

Whenever you study hard or ask the teacher to ask the teacher, you will be ridiculed and even abused.

No matter what you say, others see him a disgusting expression.

So I was deeply skeptical, and I felt depressed by the unable to integrate the collective.

Many netizens below told him: there is no need to mix with people at different cognitive levels.

Different cognition, do not have to be strong.

Just like a saying, people get along with people. Whether it is friends and relatives, they need to exchange views, not just exchange feelings.

The level of cognition is too different, no matter how good the relationship is, it will be exhausted.

In 1979, Yu Qiuyu and Li Hong finally entered the palace of marriage 5 years after falling in love.

But after marriage, the differences between the two were getting bigger and bigger.

One day, Li Hong said to Yu Qiuyu: "I can't open the pot at home. I'll go to Shenzhen to break through."

This sentence gave Yu Qiuyu a deep feeling of "all usefulness is a scholar", so she had to agree to the wife's request with tears.

During that time, Yu Qiuyu could not find the meaning of being a scholar.

Li Hong is a pragmatism. She believes that during the golden period of reform and opening up, she should seize the opportunity to go to sea.

However, Yu Qiuyu still insisted on writing daily desks, where he could find the pure land of the soul.

In Li Hong's cognition, food and clothing are greater than the spiritual world; in Yu Qiuyu's cognition, the spiritual world is greater than food and clothing.

Although they are couples living under the same roof, they are scattered because of their different cognition.

Brandon once said:

"With those who are comparable to those self -cognitive levels, they will feel the most comfortable and most at home. Some people feel lonely because the people around you are different from you."

It turned out that the longest distance in the world was not all the heavens, but different cognition.

Getting along with people who are different from cognition, they are no less physically and mentally exhausted.

Your distress, he can't understand; his hesitation, you can't feel the same.

Rather than doing unnecessary strength and entanglement, it is better to be well -safe.

04

Finally, I will share with you a story of Meng Fei.

When he went to work in the TV station, he received a call from a relative.

The other party wanted Meng Fei to help his son find a director on TV.

When Meng Fei told her that the director needed to take the exam, the other party not only did not thank him, but felt that Meng Fei deliberately made her difficult to make her: Since the exam is needed, is it necessary to bother you?

Moreover, he has been aggressive, ridiculed, saying that he flew Huang Tengda and forgot his poor relatives.

Meng Fei originally wanted to argue, but finally thinking about it.

Because the two people have different cognitive levels, the controversy is meaningless.

In desperation, I had to hack the contact information of this relative.

The well -known blogger said: "Two people want to talk about something, they need some knowledge or experience reserves, otherwise they are chickens and ducks."

The most comfortable relationship between people is consistent with cognition.

People with too many cognitive levels are destined to be two parallel lines and cannot intersect.

Like a praise, upgrade cognition, be the best self, and meet better others.

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