These three key elements make marriage long and happy

The author introduced: Xu Chuan, treated with psychological founders, psychologists, senior marriage emotional consultants. When you encounter emotional questions, please ask me questions, you must answer!

Teacher Xu Chuan said:

Many women will say that men's feelings are too changing, and the freshness and passion of love will inevitably cool down; some people say And there are big young girls outside; so many women lamented: Can modern society still have a long and happy marriage? What can I rely on for a long time to attract a man?

I can tell you the answer directly: The long -term attraction between men and women depends on the depth of the relationship. The depth of the relationship is divided into three levels:

The first level: when men and women come together, they are originally driven by sexual instincts, and hormones make each other attract each other.

Young, beautiful, strong and upright, like the taste of him, obsessed with your smile; it is a passion collision, fresh stimulation. These instinctual attractions are a sense of sensory stimuli, a limited value and deadline, reaching the vertex to the vertex After that, it will inevitably go downhill.

This is the shallow level of gender relations. If the relationship between the two people cannot develop in -depth development, staying in this position is bound to be unstable. Well, men are easily attracted by young and beautiful little girls.

After entering the marriage, the relationship between the husband and wife is good or not, depending on whether the depth of the relationship can be from the surface of the feeling to the depth of cooperation; this is related to the happiness of the two people in marriage, affecting the long -term and the relationship between the relationship and Stablize.

The second level: you understand him; you have your own ideas, think independently, you can collide with him, can be the same frequency, and stimulate some new things.

At this time, you will find that men not only treat you as a woman, but as an equal opponent and partner. He appreciates you and convince you; It is very valuable to deepen your relationship with deep respect and conviction; at this moment, your relationship deepen a level, depending on each other as a life partner that can truly understand and support each other.

I know a couple like such a husband and wife. Men are senior executives of technology. Later, the company's leadership relationship was relatively complicated. In the contradiction between professional ideals and reality, he was often in a state of conflict; and her wife was just a psychological counselor who insight into humanity. She was able to understand her husband completely. The tangled and struggle in the heart; and from the perspective of human nature, I will discuss the conflict between the company's management with her husband. Everyone's needs, she has not told her husband what you should do, but this kind of humanity -based discussion, I gave her husband a lot of different perspective inspiration; men said that through the collision with his wife, he had a lot of different understanding of the condition of himself and the company., Slowly found the position of self -consistent and balanced; he enjoyed this collision very much, cherishing the relationship with his wife.

Each of us will encounter different dilemma in life. At this time, if the partner around us can achieve a certain height with you and discuss the problem with you, it can actually break a person's loneliness Feeling, bringing a lot of strength and nourishing. Therefore, it is important that women who are good at or interested in continuous focusing and learning to help them achieve a certain height; there are many underlying logic at the same height level, which can be used to collide with partners.

The third level: the soul partner we said.

They enjoy each other very much to grow together in the relationship, and they can also face the predicament of the appearance together, and push the depth of the relationship.

When this relationship is achieved, it means that you must understand: what he desires in his heart, what kind of person he wants to be, what is the dream and pain point in his heart ...

I taught a middle -aged couple on the verge of divorce. The two tortured each other for 5 years. I have lived for half my life, and I don't want to live without love in the second half of my life. My husband told me: For reasons, he entered the financial field and made a lot of money, becoming more and more greasy, and never realized that happiness. He put himself into work and challenged one goal after another. His parents and children were proud of his career; more often, he felt that he was just a tool to make money, so lonely.

and the loneliness of Mr., his wife knows nothing. The two couples were taking care of the elderly, raising their children, and trivial life, but ignored each other's feelings. Our husband and wife tutoring, peeling the inner layers like peeling onions, let the couples see each other's ideals, and their fragility. When we were young, we all had insight and empathy. It is the bumps of life that let us forget the feelings of each other's hearts. The focus of psychological counseling is actually here. The wife made progress quickly in our counseling. When she walked into her heart in this depth, she could build a deep relationship. Deep trust is very stable.

Instinct driving, thinking the same frequency, soul partner, is the three levels of feelings.

I don't know which level of your marriage is? You can tell your story in the comment area, and I will pick up one or two of the highest comments to answer.

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Author: Xu Chuan, waiting for psychological founders, psychologists, senior marriage emotional consultants.When you encounter any emotional distress, you can ask me questions. I will help you analyze and solve it.↓↓↓

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