How many parents have mistakenly waiting for the flowers and thinking that they will be self -flow, and come to learn how to calmly wait for the flowers to bloom.

Behind the excellent student

There must be "parents of other people's family"

Excellent parents are like gardener

Do well in the early stage of seedling, watering, fertilization, etc.

Then

With a pleasant mood

The relaxed posture "wait for the flowers"

Text | Ge Yuhong (Deputy President of Beijing Jiaotong University Affiliated Middle School)

Text | Xu Li (Beijing Yakang Wanwei Information Technology Co., Ltd.)

My daughter's grades and habits are excellent. I have achieved excellent grades in the National Middle School Physics Competition and the College Entrance Examination. Now I am a first -year student of Peking University graduate students. From the perspective of other parents, it is a proper "learning hegemony". And "other children's children". In fact, as parents, we chose "waiting for flowers". This kind of "waiting for flowers" is not allowed to be self -flow, but like a gardener. In the early stage, do careful work such as seedlings, watering, and fertilization, and then "wait for flowers" with a relaxed attitude with a pleasant mood.

1

Breakthrough self -settings

In the eyes of adults, children may not be so easy to do, and even need to overcome great psychological obstacles. At this time, parents have to squat down and stand on the perspective of their children to understand the difficulty of their children to do this; parents have to have a pair of eyes that are good at observing, and to figure out the reasons for their children from various behaviors and details. To encourage children, there must be a greater fault tolerance for children's fear; in addition, parents must accompany their children to do it to help their children break through their own limits.

My daughter was very afraid of water when I was young. Before I went to elementary school, we reported to her swimming class. The process of studying swimming was very difficult. No matter how the coach mobilized and encouraged, the child either did not jump into the water or dare not bury his head in the water in the water. Essence To be honest, watching other children learn and have a good job, and then look at the daughter who has never dared to tie his head in the water. As a parent, we are a little anxious. However, we did not give up lightly, nor did we reprimand the children. Instead, according to the guidance of the coach, we first practiced in the washbasin at home, and then used the bathtub at home. A little bit of practice requires parents to have great patience. In the process, even a little progress must be encouraged to encourage their children to affirm praise in time. In this way, in the first phase of the breaststroke, she sometimes tied her head into the water. In order to allow her to learn the necessary basic skills in the first school stage, we discussed with the children to report another epondonopathy. After two phases of study, she finally broke through the psychological passage of her fear of water. Sports.

2

Learn time management

Compared with the childhood of parents in the 60s or post -70s, children need to do more, and they will face more challenges in the future. It is particularly important to do things efficiently. One of the prerequisites for efficient things is to have good time management capabilities, learn to distinguish the priority of things, plan tasks in an orderly manner, arrange time reasonably, and complete the task efficiently, which is important for her subsequent learning and response to future challenges.

After the daughter was 4 years old, we equipped her with a watch. Every time she goes out to play, she agreed to go home in advance, and she basically comes back at the agreed time. I remember once, she spent 5 minutes, and ran home pantingly, and apologized to us as soon as she entered the door. While cultivating children's time -keeping habits, we also guide the child to formulate a long and short plan to list the things that must be completed in the month, and then break down into week and daily. After the child completes the task, we no longer arrange additional tasks for her, and she can freely control the remaining time.

3

Do a good job in home and school

The child has been a good student in the eyes of teachers since elementary school. She has a very good relationship with the teacher. Looking back on her 12 -year basic education process, only twice in the impression that she has an opinion on the teacher's approach, not very agreed.

At one time in the second grade of elementary school, she came back and told her mother unfair to her mother. We asked her about the most likely reason. After hearing our analysis, she felt that it was reasonable, and we also cited a few teachers who cared about her very much and dispelled her emotions in opposition with the teacher.

When the child has the idea of ​​the teacher, parents must objectively analyze the cause, and stand more from the perspective of the teacher to analyze the reasons, so that the child will not have much opinion on the teacher. As an adult, we are very clear about people, teachers are ordinary people, and even fair teachers have their own preferences and temper. Therefore, in front of children, we must try to maintain the teacher's dignity and prestige as much as possible, and to grasp the degree. For example, when some children have questioned the teacher's requirements, parents must not say, "I also think the teacher's requirements are unreasonable, don't listen to the teacher's", and don't say, "You must do whatever you say. Do". Parents can rotate more and say, "We don't know why the teacher asked for this, but he should have his truth, which is really harsh for us, but from the perspective of the whole class, we may have to be the case. It will also ask for this way. "

In addition, how to convey the teacher's evaluation of children's discipline learning after the meeting. For the disciplines that do not perform well in children, we will say this: "Teachers feel that your potential is great, and he is particularly confident in you. But the teacher said that if you can invest more in some aspects, the results will be improved faster." This makes the child feel the teacher's focus and trust in her.

Planning: Zhang Xiaoshen

Edit: He Wenjie

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