The most comfortable relationship is to maintain "trouble"

Text/Taoji

Source/Fan Deng Reading

In the recently popular variety show "Flowers and Teenagers", there is such a fragment:

Liu Mintao's mattress was wet. She turned on the hair dryer and tried to blow dry the sheets alone.

When Yang Mi saw it, she proposed to find a moisture -proof pad, but Liu Mintao refused. She was afraid that the moisture -proof pad would make a crunching sound, which would affect others while sleeping.

Other guests asked for help, and Liu Mintao also refused.

Seeing this, Yang Mi enlightened her patiently: "In fact, the more you are afraid of adding trouble for others, the more you may have trouble to others, because this will make someone who really cares about you guess what you think."

Observing our surroundings, such scenes often happen.

Some people are afraid of bothering others, they will add chaos to others, and they have increased a lot of pressure to themselves.

In fact, many good relationships are gradually established in the "trouble" you come and me.

Knowing how to trouble others is also a manifestation of high emotional quotient.

Sorry to trouble, what is alienated is the relationship

Since the media author@自 自 has shared his own story.

When he first arrived in the unit, he often dinner and chatted with his colleagues, and often asked his predecessors who did not understand, and soon became familiar with everyone.

A colleague in his office next door was incompatible with them.

He found that the colleague went to get off work on time every day and rarely spoke and interact with others.

Sometimes, when he went to do water, when he saw that the colleagues next door were busy, he would take a pot of hot water back.

Who knows, the colleague was a little overwhelmed, and early the next morning, a pot of hot water came over.

Another time, when the speaker met this colleague early, he helped him settle together by the way.

As a result, when he returned to the office, he found that there were some change on his table, and he felt a kind of inconvenient.

Slowly, he had a self -knowledge, and occasionally met the colleague in the corridor, but nodded politely and hurriedly bypassed.

More than three years together, the relationship between them is more alienated than strangers.

Aristotle once said:

"People are social animals. No one can leave society and exist alone."

In life, we will inevitably have a variety of intersections with people around.

We always think that troubles others will cause trouble to others and may be hated.

But if you think about it, the help and grace that belongs to the labor of the hand make the two sides closer.

Picture source: panorama vision

American politician Franklin, after becoming a governor secretary, wants to win the support of a parliamentarian who is opposed to himself.

He heard that the parliamentarian collected a very rare book and wrote a letter to ask him if he could lend himself for two days.

Unexpectedly, the member sent the book over without saying a word.

In the later Congress, the parliament also took the initiative to talk to Franklin, and the two of them gradually became good friends.

This is the famous "Franklin effect": the best way to make others like you is not to help them, but to help you.

People and people often become familiar and close in some daily small things.

Those who have a close relationship will gradually be born with the idea of ​​"fear of trouble" and "not disturbing", and finally go away in the sea of ​​people.

Knowing how to bother others in moderation, we can better maintain a relationship and move on the way in the future.

If you know how to trouble others, you can heat up

Writer Connie once said:

"Many people have a misunderstanding on the built -up connections: it is not good to cause trouble for others. But moderate trouble can build a deeper connection."

In the TV series "Little Happy", Fang Yuan and Ji Shengli are old classmates. After more than ten years, they have become very sparse.

Faced with the Ji victory in the heights, Fang Yuan wanted to narrate the old and closer to each other's relationship, but did not know how to speak.

Until one day, Ji Shengli took the initiative to find Fang Yuan to help, and the relationship between the two gradually got close.

Ji Shengli took Fang Yuan's stuffed car and asked Fang Yuan to teach him soup. At the same time, he also wanted his son to go to Fang Yuan's wife's friend to make up the lesson and let him help him.

Ji Shengli's help has broken the embarrassment that the two have not seen for a long time, and the relationship is as close as the past.

It is not necessary to get along with each other to get along in order to have a deep relationship.

Sometimes, a small thing for help can make the two parties get closer.

In the book "Puppy Money", there is such a story.

Jia's parents bought a house, but because they did not understand financial management, they lived very much.

One day, they took a puppy called Qian Qian.

And the puppy's master, Mr. Jin, is a master of wealth management. He had a car accident recently, so he couldn't take care of it.

Jia made a suggestion: "Dad, why don't you talk to Mr. Jin about your financial situation?"

His father hesitated: "I think he will not be interested in this."

Mother also said, "Don't bother others."

Picture source: panorama vision

Later, under the persistence of Jia, his parents agreed to go to Mr. Jin, and trouble him to give suggestions on the financial situation.

Unexpectedly, Mr. Jin was happy to help.

At the suggestion of Mr. Jin, the financial situation at home has improved a lot, and their relationship is also helping each other, becoming more closer.

The relationship between people is always mutual.

A good relationship is not their own wonderful, but in two -way, moderate trouble, which can get closer to each other's psychological distance. To some extent, it is because of owing each other that they can remember each other and build a stable and long -term relationship.

The highest -level emotional intelligence is good at asking for help

In this world, no one can solve all problems alone.

It is a rare wisdom to know how to ask for help when encountering problems.

A netizen shared his experience.

Many years ago, she entered a newspaper internship, and there were many well -known editors in the office.

As a newcomer, she was careful when she was at work, fearing that she would say something wrong and do something wrong. Even if she didn't understand anything, she couldn't ask.

However, Lele, which was internship in the newspaper at the same time as netizens, was completely different.

As soon as Lele encountered what she didn't understand, she chased her predecessors for advice. Netizens were ashamed to ask questions, but she could say it very frankly.

Netizens thought that for a long time, colleagues and predecessors would bother.

But slowly found that the person who was asked for help by Lele not only did not dislike it, but became more and more familiar with her, and always welcomed her with a smile.

Lele has a good popularity in the company and grows fast, and soon becomes the first successful person in the intern.

Netizens only understood at that time:

Regardless of their identity, wealth is oligo, and an important factor that people feel their own value is that they are needed by others.

Picture source: panorama vision

In life, some people are timid to ask others for help, worrying about being rejected, and not wanting to cause trouble for others.

However, in many cases, in the face of reasonable requests, others will not only dislike them, but also get a sense of value needed.

After all, in this world, no one is an isolated island.

When encountering problems that cannot be solved independently, it is difficult to make substantial progress with yourself.

Help, so that we can borrow the strengths of others, make up for ourselves, and also lay a good popularity for ourselves.

There is such a sentence in "Man and Eternal":

"Everything has an irreplaceable boundary. This boundary is unclear, but it is certain. All troubles and conflicts start from unintentionally to break through this boundary."

Even if the relationship is good, troubles others should pay attention to the proposition and grasp the "degree" between people and people.

When seeking the help of others, there are the following suggestions:

1. Breaks others, be empathy.

We sometimes meet such people:

When you are so busy, come to let you help him do things; when you give helpful, you can draw your hands in the process.

When you trouble others, learn to think in other places and maintain empathy. It is an indispensable emotional intelligence.

The most appropriate request is to ask others to do something easily for him.

This will neither put pressure on the other party, but also solve the problem efficiently.

2. Breaks others, it is necessary to stop.

It is especially important to grasp the scale when requesting others to help.

Neither can not get inch, nor should others be regarded as taken for granted.

What you can do, try not to trouble others; even if you ask others to help, you have to work.

Blind consumption of the energy and resources of others, no matter how good people are, they will be bored.

After all, others' help is love points, not help is a score.

Picture source: panorama vision

3. Breaks others, and you need to come and go.

No one is willing to pay blindly, but never get a return.

You helped me once, and next time you need it, I also help each other.

Knowing how to get back can get along more comfortably.

If you give an umbrella in the rain, I will send charcoal in the snow.

I voted for Mu Tao and reported to Qiong Yao.

Clicking on "watching", I hope you will not glow when you get along with others, trouble with each other, warm each other, and harvest sincere relationships.

Author: Tao Ji, writing is either the embellishment of life, but life itself. Source: Fan Deng Reading (ID: ReadingClub_BTFX), read the life.

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