Young people who are old: Parents send 5,000 a month and leave me to get married at home

Do not go to school or work, all the time to read books, go online, and sleep at home all day. In this day, Su Wen has passed six years.

"Old" is his only economic source.

Everyone thinks that Su Wen is a weird person, including himself, "I will worry about my parents, but if I go out to work, don't I worry about being crowded?"

In recent years, the number of young people has skyrocketed. They are called the NOT in Education, Employment Or Training (Neet), and to a certain extent, they also refer to "squatting at home" and "啃 啃". Essence

According to the "2020 World Youth Employment Trends: Science and Technology and Future Work" issued by the International Labor Organization, about 267 million are the "Nate" among the 1.3 billion youth groups worldwide.

Recently,#近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 近 screen screen on major social platforms. The topics of "Lao Lao" and "squatting at home" were raised again, which caused heated discussion.

In fact, as early as 2006, the Douban Group had the "Squats Squats Self -Rescue Alliance". At present, more than 50,000 people have hugged the group in the group to warm up. According to Tencent News-Gu Yu Data, in the 16 years since the establishment of the "Squat Squats and Self-Rescue Alliance" group, the discussion of the three years has exceeded 70 % of the total number of posts.

What does it feel like to "old" at home after graduation? Why are they trapped at home, so they are in a hurry? What are the plans for the future? Times Finance interviewed several post -95s who were "old" or "old" experience.

Su Wen believes that he can't find a truly meaningful job. Instead of wasteing time, he is better to "enrich the heart" at home; give up Chen Ran, who is going home to go home, and feels that his life at home is repeated and boring. ; Gao Rui, who had been in the postgraduate entrance examination for a year, thought that she had prepared for the old test to make her breathless. Even if she wanted to continue trying the postgraduate entrance examination, she did not dare to get out of production.

The following is their experience.

After the freshman retirement, "squatting at home" for six years, he wanted to take the "fourth road"

At the end of last year, after working briefly, Su Wen, 25, returned home.

This is Su Wen’s second job -telephone sales. Two or three hundred phone calls are required a day, and repeat "Do you have children in your family, do you want to know about children's programming?" And such a call, other colleagues can Play six or seven hundred. Su Wen said that he is not good at socializing, his emotional intelligence is not high, and he is close to strangers on the phone and cannot do it.

A week later, the company fired Su Wen on the grounds of "not entering", and this was the meaning of him, "What they want is the‘ human meat battery ’, and I do n’t have‘ electricity ’, and I ca n’t generate electricity.”

Su Wen does not plan to find a job for the time being, and all day long at home reading, surfing, and sleeping. In this day, he has been nearly seven years.

He said that he was a typical "Nit", and reading was the biggest hobby. On his Douban homepage, 105 books were reading and 5470 wanted to read.

Everyone thinks Su Wen is a weird person, including himself. Su Wen said that he was "a stubborn stone" and was unwilling to follow the wave, so he chose to drop out of school at a time. In the eyes of others, he is lonely and naive, and Su Wen only feels "they are mediocre."

Parents are dissatisfied with Su Wen's current situation, but Su Wen disagreed, "They are dissatisfied with their lives, so they impose this hope to me." Su Wen's mother originally worked in a public hospital. Go to work again.

When asked if he felt that his mother had to work to take care of him, Su Wen believed that "she is not to afford me, and I can't spend much money, she is also for her." It mentioned that income can give her mother for her mother When reducing the pressure, Su Wen felt helpless, "I know, but I don't make money, and no one wants me."

"Can't find a job" has become the starting point of the problem. In Su Wen's view, there is no really meaningful work, which is the original sin of this society.

The dialogue in the Japanese movie "Not asking for the Joyzi" often occurs in Su Wen's house

In October 2020, Su Wen published a long -term self -described in Douban's "Squat and Self -Rescue Alliance" group in Douban, telling the journey of his "squatting at home" for many years.

In the article, he mentioned, "In the eyes of others, there are three ways in this world: college entrance examination universities, studying abroad, and directly entering social work to earn money. But I long for the fourth way."

In short, he hopes to find the meaning of life and the "truth" of life through self -study, and finally make some immortal achievements. He likes Nietzsche and Schopenhauer, thinking that they are different from the mediocre teachers around him, and can give him a more high degree of guidance.

Su Wen once mentioned Chen Zhi in his diary, a migrant worker that surprised the public because of his own philosophy. In his opinion, Chen Zhi's ideal is to be recognized by the public through the self -study research of Heidegger's philosophy, and this is exactly the "fourth road" in his mouth.

Su Wen believes that many people do not go to college, but they are quite talented in some ways. They can make some results by self -study. "I am not the first, nor the last."

What are the results of self -learning? Su Wen said that the most valuable output at present is the self -described by his own. "Don't you think it is special?" Su Wen believes that he can analyze his problems so clearly, and it is different from that he only knows to watch TV and play games. Indeed, many netizens praised Su Wen's smooth writing and encouraged him to continue to work. But Su Wen said that he didn't like to "cater to the audience", and his city was not suitable for text work. Most of them just wrote some mechanical publicity.

Many people "squatting" may want to understand that parents always grow old and cannot live under the shade of their parents for a lifetime. It is difficult to say that Su Wen has no such concern about the future, but he has a set of logic to be able to turn himself.

"I will worry about my parents, but if I go out to work, don't I worry about being crowded?" In Su Wen's eyes, there is a clock in the society that stipulates when people should do. Look at this clock. "

Su Wen still wants to continue the "fourth road", or maybe he will go out to work, "I may miss an opportunity."

For my own way, Su Wen said, "I don't recommend ordinary people to come, and I haven't walked well."

Give up "deep drift", and after going home for a year, she is eager to break free of comfort

Unlike Su Wen, 24 -year -old Chen Ran was "old" in Shantou's home for a year, and he planned to go to Guangzhou to break through.

Before returning home, Chen Ran was a "deep drift" and tried two jobs in Shenzhen.

For the first time, she often worked overtime at eleven or two in the advertising company. She had to go to work on time in the morning the next morning. It's sweaty. "

Unable to withstand such a high -intensity work rhythm, Chen Ran replaced a relatively leisurely work. New media operations of studying education institutions have a break, no overtime, and can realize the "freedom of touching fish".

At the end of last year, the three -month trial period passed, and Chen Ran's sister was about to come, and she asked for a week to accompany them home. When he returned to the company, he was "let go". "This post has been revoked, or you transferred to marketing?" Chen Ran was very wrong and was unwilling to transfer to sales.

She decided to go home first. This stay is nearly a year.

Chen Ran's parents opened a small textile factory in the town of Shantou. Although they did not catch up with the express train of e -commerce in recent years, they have not made much money, but they are enough to feed a family. When Chen Ran worked hard, they were always worried that she would eat unhealthy takeaway, stay up late to hurt her body, and talk about unsure of love. They have supported them very much for their decisions.

Chen Ran said that from the perspective of people around, girls do not work, and they can help at home. Parents also think that she is old and can start a blind date and get married. They want Chen Ran to stay at home, open a small shop, get married early, and live a simple life.

Chen Ran was very resistant to blind dates, and pushed again, "Our place is small, and everyone around the blind date will know that if you don't talk about it, it will be embarrassing." And for opening a shop, she gave up If you have no ability to return, you are afraid that you cannot bear the pressure of operating stores.

Without opening a store or a source of economic sources, Chen Ran's parents will regularly give her 5,000 yuan a month. For these 5,000 yuan, Chen Ran seemed to be at ease. "I might be a bit bad. I think they just want to keep me like this and make me feel that the family is good and the outside." "When I was in college, my family was very picky at me. I went to school in Guangzhou, but I only gave more than a thousand living expenses every month, and I could only go out and work frequently."

Every day is to switch the mobile phone with various platforms, stay up late at night, and wake up at noon or even afternoon the next day. Chen Ran feels that time seems to have been devoured. Chen Ran felt a little ironic. "I felt that my life was irregular when I was working.

In the dull daily life, Chen Ran tried to accept his mediocrity. "When I focus on life, it seems that it can only be mediocre." But watching some people in the same age have entrepreneurially entrepreneurship, some people read graduate students in a prestigious school, but she was too peaceful and felt like "birds trapped in a cage." Chen Ran could feel that many friends and her had less communication, "Maybe I look down on me", she said.

Chen Ran began to hate Xu Du, and wanted to find some "value".

She tried to do a freelance occupation on the Internet, picking up PPT, but she often could not collect it, which was very sad; doing her own vibrato account, but the data did not improve; in the end, she tried to update in Xiaohongshu to update Wearing graphic, increasingly accumulated, finally there were 30,000 fans in operation for two or three months. When good, the income could catch up with the local salary. "I can have this effect. I think I can Eat this meal. "

But the good times didn't last long. Because of the breast nodules, Chen Ran had undergone surgery and took a month. After stopping for a month, the data of the post could never go back. "No business came to me to cooperate." Chen Ran's energy dispersed.

Beginning in July this year, Chen Ran tried to update VLOG on Xiaohong Book, hoping to force his life to enrich. But in the latest video, she was still frank to herself. "It's boring in a small place for a long time, and I want to go to Guangzhou again."

Chen Ran said that "squatting at home" often sees various occupations on the Internet, with lawyers, doctors, nurses ... I think they are cool and can provide value for others, but she is lying on the "cage" of comfortable "cages" There is nothing to do every day. Now she wants to fly out, but she doesn't know if she can fly out.

Once preparing for the exam, she no longer wants to live under the same roof as her parents

Gao Rui was "old" for preparing for the exam.

After graduating from college in 2019, Gao Rui's postgraduate entrance examination and public examination repeatedly defeated, and after a year of "old" life. Now, she has been working for two years, and when she thinks of that day, she still feels breathless.

Gao Rui's postgraduate entrance examination began in the third year of 2018. After the first postgraduate entrance examination failed, she resolutely decided to "World War II". This time, she seemed more experienced and planned, but the pressure was even greater. She faintly felt that this was her last chance, "Parents may only tolerate me this time."

Although he had graduated, Gao Rui rented a house near the school. In order not to reach out to the family for money, she found a part -time job in the postgraduate entrance examination institution. While her postgraduate entrance examination, she also planned and supervised other students in other postgraduate entrance examinations. In September 2019, when she entered the test sprint period, she resigned from this part -time job that made her distraction, devoted her wholeheartedly to the postgraduate entrance examination, and the economic source became "old".

In 2022, 4.57 million people rushed to the separate wooden bridge in the postgraduate entrance examination, and the number of admission was less than 1.1 million. Many college graduates have fallen into the vortex of repeated postgraduate entrance examinations and trials. Some people say that they use the test to escape the reality as "new type of old people."

Even if Gao Rui has done his best, he still failed for the second postgraduate entrance examination. In 2020, in the days when the epidemic was locked at home, she began to prepare for the civil servant test in May of that year, but this time, parents in the system hoped that she could try.

Now I recall that the friction with parents is always constantly. She now summarizes that the most ideal living state with her parents is not to be under the eaves.

At that time, the cold air caused by the stiff relationship with the parents was always shrouded at home.

Although the "squatting at home" is the norm of most people, Gao Rui's father always felt that her student was over and should go to work. . "But in Gao Rui's view, in such a roll -up competition, incompetence can not stand out.

In Gao Rui's eyes, her father was struggling to rise throughout her life. She was "willing to be on the status quo" and could not understand her father. "In their opinion, I have been failed." In memory, sometimes noisy, parents will start to "turn the old account". "You start from the college entrance examination. This is not admitted to the postgraduate entrance examination twice. "

Sometimes the content of the dispute can be some trivial matter. Gao Rui's parents are very self -disciplined and go to the gym to run or practice yoga almost every day. Compared with them, Gao Rui, who was at home, was "contemporary decadent female youth". From eight o'clock, it was too late to move to exercise every day. Gao Rui said, "I have been said from early early."

Gao Rui was looking forward to the early period of the exam coming early and "relief" as soon as possible. But in May, the deadline for the original exam was delayed. Gao Rui said that he couldn't stand it. He decided to go out to work first and end the "home squat" time in advance.

The exam was postponed to July, when Gao Rui had worked for two months, and finally failed.

After the failure of the exam, Gao Rui has tried it for half a year in the teaching and training institutions and technology companies, but his parents believed that the work in private companies was very unstable. After discussing with his parents, Gao Rui chose to enter the bank and became a hotline customer service first. He hoped to use this as a springboard and try the internal preparation. But in the past two years, the policy of bank recruitment has changed and Gao Rui has always been a step slower.

"It's not a way to go on like this." Gao Rui thought that he still needed to return to school a layer of gold. "I still want to take the postgraduate entrance examination, even if I have given up for many years." Recently, Gao Rui started to prepare for the management of the joint entrance examination.

When asked if she was ready to get out of production, Gao Rui sighed, "It's impossible now, I don't have such a courage."

(The interview objects in the article are all pseudonyms)

Source: Time Weekly

Edit: Xing Zhibin

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