22 years old, I hated my mother for 20 years

Author:reader Time:2022.09.14

In 2018, I graduated from Xiaotao University.

Graduated with her boyfriend Chen Bing, chose to be in Chiang Mai.

I agreed.

But on the fourth day of the walk, Chen Bing called and said that Xiao Tao had not returned to buy things alone, and had called the police.

I think of the news of "selling the population" on the Internet, it is really scary!

Putting down the phone, I immediately contacted the friends of the Thai travel agency and found the ground snake in Chiang Mai.

And the 1 million baht finally changed me, and my daughter Xiaotao.

I was born in a family that is not rich, and my hometown is in the countryside of Panwan Town, northern Jiangsu.

I am the boss at home, and there is a sister and a younger brother below.

The difficulties of life made me give up my studies several times, because my family was too poor.

I was born in 1973, and I went to elementary school at the age of 8.

At that time, our primary school was still 5 years. After graduating, my dad did not let me go, and let me do farm work and take care of my brother and sister at home.

Our principal is a very responsible old teacher, because I have a good grade and come to my house to do work. At that time, my sister was 10 years old and my brother was 4 years old.

My sister said, if so, she wouldn't get it, because her grades were not good.

The principal said that let me go back to work in the afternoon in the afternoon. My dad agreed.

Therefore, I am grateful for my sister in my life.

Without her, my life may be another way.

My high school was stunned by my parents, and my sister accompanied me.

But in the end I couldn't take the college entrance examination, and my family was really unsuccessful.

In 1992, I went to work in the county, and the high Chinese diploma was okay.

In 1993, he went to Yancheng. In 1994, he was a clerk in a food company and met Hao Xingguo in the same year.

He is a native of Yancheng, 4 years older than me, and is a worker in the auto parts factory.

The house I rented at the time was next to his house.

Come and go, his mother often calls me to eat, but in fact I intend to bridge me and Hao Xingguo.

I saw this meaning, but Hao Xingguo didn't even dare to tell me, and only gave me a lot of effort.

Later, I married him.

In addition to the combination of Hao Xingguo and I, there are many realistic considerations.

Hao Xingguo's father died early, and it was not easy for his mother to pull him to grow up alone.

He is not tall, and his appearance can only be said to be ugly.

The junior high school degree is the most at the grassroots level in the factory.

His biggest advantage is honesty.

In the eyes of many young girls, this is a disadvantage.

Because of ordinary men who do not make money, there is no competitiveness.

But for me, a rural girl can get married in the city.

After all, there is still a gap in cities and rural areas in the 1990s.

In 1995, Hao Xingguo and I had a wedding.

In 1996, her daughter Xiaotao was born.

When confinement, my mother came to accompany him for 3 days, and asked me to regenerate my son quickly when he left.

And my mother -in -law could see it, saying that there was no one in the father -in -law anyway, and there was no need to have a son.

During the day when I was at home, I signed up for self -examination.

Hao Xingguo and my mother -in -law support me very much. I have a good foundation and getting fast.

In 1999, he won a bachelor's degree in English.

That year, it was the watershed of my life.

In 1998, housing began monetization.

In the past, the food company took my master to engage in real estate agency and called me away.

He was quite powerful. The company became bigger and bigger, and it became a chain shop. My English specialties were very open at the time and could pick up foreigners' lists.

In 2002, he took me to Nanjing to open a store.

Both mother -in -law and Hao Xingguo support me because they earn more.

At that time, Hao Xingguo's salary was 1,000 yuan a month, and I was already more than 6,000 yuan.

Everyone praises my daughter -in -law who can do it and amazing.

When you talk about it, the most difficult thing after a different place is not your husband, but the child.

Although I am a career -oriented woman, I am also a mother.

Every day I came back from get off work every day, and I saw my daughter sleeping, my heart was stable.

Two months to Nanjing, I thought about my daughter crazy, and I cried many times at night.

At that time, I couldn't video.

Every time I called, I heard my daughter's voice.

I have thought about the retreat.

My master advised me that there are many ways to love children, one is to accompany every day, and the other is to give her good resources.

"Your daughter has been accompanied by a lot, right?

"I'm here. My son had no money to buy with a double shoe at that time. My son said‘ really useless ’. I ca n’t forget it in my life.”

The master's words tear up the poor memories of my childhood.

In order to go to high school, I knelt on the ground, crying for my parents, and my head was broken.

My heart is hard.

At that time, I was very hard, and I caught up with the real estate industry, and my income rose doubled.

In 2003, I bought the first house in Nanjing. At that time, the average price of the city was only more than 3,000 yuan.

Hao Xingguo followed me first. He has technology and is not difficult to find.

By September 2004, I took my mother -in -law and Xiaotao over.

In the third grade of Xiaotao, because there are no places in good public schools, I found her a very expensive private elementary school, closed management, and went home on weekends.

My mother -in -law said happily that now I can worry about it.

At that time, I felt like a very lucky person.

Although I have suffered a lot, I also encountered many kind nobles in the first half of my life, such as my primary school principal, my sister, my master, my mother -in -law ...

I always reward them, especially my sister.

It is said that my sister is the "help brother", and I am "helping the sister".

How to say, after 2000, living conditions slowly get better. The house sites at home are my brother.

He is also savvy. After graduating from high school, he can make a small business and be able to make a lot of money.

But my sister married at the age of 19. She gave birth to her daughter in 1999 and the following year.

My brother -in -law is not very good, it is delicious and lazy, and you are not doing business.

My sister lives hard. After my economic conditions are getting better, I will help her every month.

I didn't hide Hao Xingguo and my mother -in -law, after all, the money was made by me.

The house was all me at home, and Hao Xingguo's salary gave him pocket money. His workers did not envy him.

But just when I feel that my life is smooth, the bad thing comes.

That year's small peach period, 72 points in Chinese, 61 points for mathematics, and the countdown in the class.

I was so angry.

In the third grade of elementary school, what can I learn? How could he almost fail!

I have no one who cares about it since I was a child.

Parents would go to me. The teacher said that she did not cooperate, did not listen in get out of class, and had no friends after class.

When I go home, I ask Xiaotao:

"What's wrong with you, what happened? Mom spent so much money to make you go to such a good school, can you be worthy of me?"

Xiaotao kept looking down and didn't speak.

My anger rushed up and roared her: "You are talking!"

Xiaotao suddenly raised his head and said to me, "You want to care about me now? It's late, I can't use it!"

Ask myself, I do get along with Xiaotao less time, but this does not mean that I do not care about her.

I said, "Moms make money at work, I also hope you have a better life, right?"

Xiao Tao turned his head and rolled his eyes, saying, "How is it? How can you bother me, send me away, and close it."

I was so angry, "I want to bother you, just leave you in my hometown!"

Then she rolled my eyes again.

Later, my mother -in -law asked.

This private school is a child of rich people.

Xiao Tao came from a small city and was a class student, and was soon excluded.

It is said that it has been bullied.

However, Xiaotao never told us.

During the holidays, I heard my friends' suggestions, asked for leave, and took the whole family to travel.

It is true, that is the first time I have a real trip in my life.

There was either no money or no time.

When I booked a resort for half a month of Qiandao Lake, when I was sitting beside the pool and drinking drinks, my heart was sorry: rich and rich people are still different.

If you have the ability to earn, you have to spend time to call rich people.

At that time, Xiaotao was particularly happy, and his resistance to me was much faded.

I chatted with her and said, "If you have any thoughts in the future, you can tell your mother."

She said, "Okay."

I booked a family room, and she still had to sleep with my mother -in -law.

After a walk after a meal, she refused to pull my hand. My heart is very sad.

One night when I came back, Hao Xingguo told me that Xiaotao told my mother -in -law that she didn't want to study at this school.

I asked, "Why don't she tell me?"

Hao Xingguo: "She is afraid you are angry."

I said angrily, "Am I so terrible?"

Sometimes I feel particularly wronged.

Taking care of her life is giving, did I make money for her?

Maybe from Xiao Tao to her to school. The most critical period of growth is that I am busy working, and she has no sense of dependence on me.

However, I still have to do with anger and anger.

Because I understand that the child is crowded, even if the teacher controls it.

Later, I sent Xiaotao to the public elementary school on our community.

Although the teachers are almost, they can go home at least every day.

I thought, I just contacted her relationship with her.

However, things are contrary to their wishes.

I care about the situation of her school, and she said that I monitor her; ask her to study, she thinks I am annoyed.

I don't have much energy to control her, and work is getting busy.

And Xiaotao's results returned to 1989, and I was relatively relieved.

In 2006, in the next semester of 5th grade, Xiaotao Xin changed his class teacher.

More than two months later, she said she would not go to school again, and this time she said that the teacher crowded her.

I'm really a little angry.

I asked her: "So many classmates, the teacher excludes you without exclusion of others?"

She cried with her face and said, "I do n’t know! You are united to bully people."

I had to go to school to learn about the situation.

Her class teacher is a young man who has just graduated and is very enthusiastic.

I told me that there was a boy in their class who wrote a love letter to Xiaotao. He mainly educated the boy, and to Xiaotao, reminding Xiaotao that when the girl grows up, it must be properly associated with boys.

When I came back, I was so angry! Chong Xiaotao had a temper.

I love early in elementary school!

Xiaotao probably looked at me really angry. I didn't dare to turn to school.

In this way, the junior high school stumbled, and his grades were getting worse.

Talk to her, don't say a word, the oil and salt will not enter.

I told her when I was a kid, how difficult it was to read a book.

Then she said to me, "Then I give you a hoe, don't let me read it." I was so angry that Hao Xingguo and her mother -in -law advised her, and it was useless.

By the way, my sister's two children are really angry, learn well, and filial piety to my mother.

My brother -in -law sprinkled wine at home, and the two children held him together to prevent him from moving my sister.

I also know that it is not easy to say "other children's children."

But sometimes I can't help it.

At the end of the period, the children's test class was the second, but Xiaotao could not say several. Can I not say it?

I said, "Your cousin cousin, the living conditions are far worse than you, you can see the performance of others!"

Xiaotao said, "Then you go to the second aunt, change me and my sister, I have no opinion."

In fact, the most hurtful thing was her words, but the expression on her face.

It's as if it doesn't matter to me, it doesn't matter if I don't exist.

The heart was really injured by her, and the more hurtful things came.

Starting in March 2008, I rash intermittently.

The back and arms are the worst and repeated.

When I went to the hospital, the doctor asked me if I had any transformation, and I checked myself.

Later, I remembered that I used to be allergic to a lady's brand cream before, and I had such a rash.

I think this time it may be caused by cosmetics, and later discovered that Hao Xingguo was derailed.

Derailed objects love to use this brand of skin care.

Hao Xingguo apologized to me and asked me to give him a chance.

To be honest, I don't want to divorce.

This kind of thing has not been seen before the sales of dry real estate.

If he can change it, I can accept it.

But, that month, I was allergic twice.

Later, he asked me, "How do you know, did you install a tracker?"

I said, "Hao Xingguo, if I tell you, I really want to leave you."

In fact, I have always felt that I don't love Hao Xingguo so much, as dull as water, and respect each other.

However, when I raised my allergic arm, tears were unprepared.

It may be unwilling, or maybe, love does not know.

Even if he is not good, that is not good, he is accompanying me through poverty.

I did not expect that when I was poor, I could be in the same wind and rain, but after money, it became a split bird.

The divorce was in March 2009.

We told Xiaotao before we talked about it that she had been in junior high school at that time.

We were separated from deposits. At that time, I had 4 real estate in my name, all of which I bought.

But I gave my mother -in -law a set.

I said to my mother -in -law:

"I'm sorry for me, but you don't.

"You help me too much. Without you to help me bring Xiaotao, I can't get out of the small place in my hometown, I have to be grateful.

"I thought I could give you elderly care, but unfortunately we had no fate."

The mother -in -law was crying, and she was reluctant to me.

She said she didn't want a house, but I insisted on it.

The mother -in -law didn't quit again. She said that when she was old, she left to Xiaotao.

In fact, it seems that there is no need to be so troublesome, anyway, all of them are Xiaotao.

But I think that the elderly have a sense of belonging in a strange city.

Divorced Hao Xingguo, I seemed to be light and light, but in fact, I hurt my muscles.

And my dead daughter who gave me a fatal blow.

Xiaotao's custody right must be given to me.

On the 3rd day when Hao Xingguo and her mother -in -law moved out, Xiaotao pointed at me and said:

"Blame you! I'm busy every day, don't care about my dad! Can my dad go out? If you are a good woman, there will be no today!"

I was in a bad mood, was derailed, and strangled my head?

I raised her mouth. This slap has hit our relationship at the freezing point.

I said, "What use me to raise you, I will get me!"

Xiao Tao ran to live with her dad for half a month.

In half a month, I had been struggling in my heart. Should I apologize to her first and find her back.

I was such a daughter, but I took her away.

When I go home from get off work every day, I am really empty in the face of a big empty house.

At that time, I wanted to pick up Xiaotao when I was busy at hand, but she returned first.

I didn't ask the reason why, how could that woman moved over, how could she show Xiaotao's face.

Later, my mother -in -law told me that the two fought and quarreled every day, and Hao Xingguo asked Xiao Tao to go back.

The night when Xiao Tao came back, I was happy and called her Pizza Hut.

But at the dinner table, no one was silent.

Later, I couldn't help it first: "Do you think anyone is like your mother? Bully you."

Xiao Tao glanced at me and said, "You said, why are my dad so eye -catching?"

I said, "Shut up, say something else."

Xiao Tao said for a while and said, "Sorry, mother, you are actually good."

My eyes were red, and tears couldn't breathe in my throat for a long time.

Many years later, I remembered that day, a rare tender moment between our mother and daughter.

Suddenly I wanted to thank the third party. Although I stole my husband, I sent my dearest daughter back to my arms.

Later, we had a relatively calm time.

I am still busy every day. In addition to inviting hours to work, I also invited a aunt to take care of Xiaotao.

Xiao Taoan was divided into a lot, but his grades were obviously unable to keep up.

I invited a tutor again, a very good girl in Nanjing University.

That's one of the most correct decisions I made. Later, Xiaotao and her became very good friends, and she became an example of Xiaotao.

My mother -in -law often came to see Xiaotao. We stayed far away, 3 stops, I still called her "mom".

If you are used to it, if you don’t change it, just call it.

Occasionally, when he met Hao Xingguo, he glanced at him from a distance.

In 2011, Xiaotao was admitted to high school.

Once my mother -in -law came to our house, walking a little bit.

I asked her what happened. She said, old cold legs, it's okay.

I am not assured, after all, people who are almost 60 years old, so I arranged for her assistant to take her medical examination.

Unexpectedly, it was bone cancer, which had been metastasized.

In the hospital, after divorce, I met Hao Xingguo for the first time.

At that time, he and the third party had broken up.

I said, "You dig out first, how much worse, I make up for how much money you spend."

Actually, many people say that I am stupid, for my former mother -in -law.

I just want to say, they don't understand.

My parents gave all my love to my brother. I was confinement. My mother only accompanied me for 3 days and said that my brother could not do without it.

That's right, it will be cold.

But my mother -in -law took care of me like a mother, helped me take my child, and told me that it was good to have a daughter. Don't regenerate.

Hao Xingguo was derailed. She stood with me on the same front, scolding the woman with me, and scolding her son.

She has no culture, but I have to be worthy of her old lady.

The days when my mother -in -law was treated, Hao Xingguo and I met more.

Later, when I was about to celebrate the New Year, Xiaotao asked me if she could remarry with her dad.

In fact, I have thought about it, after all, there have been so many years of feelings.

However, I often remind myself that the fire pit jumps once.

At the age of Ben Si, I want to live a bit easier.

In 2014, Xiaotao was admitted to the university, the local 211 in Nanjing.

Sophomore talked about her boyfriend, Chen Bing, a weak boy.

My mother -in -law is quite powerful, and I persist until 2016, and now I remember the last sentence that my mother -in -law said.

It was already midsummer at that time. In the evening of August, the sky could not be dark.

My mother -in -law suddenly opened her eyes and said, "Mom, you came to see me."

Then fell into a deep coma.

At that time, I foresee it. Sure enough, she left at 2 am.

The most unforgettable feelings of people are mother love.

At the last moment when the body was tortured, the mother took us towards liberation.

In 2018, Xiao Tao graduated and went to travel with her boyfriend to go to Chiang Mai.

I agreed.

But on the fourth day of walking, Chen Bing called and said that Xiaotao lost and had called the police.

I really exploded!

Put down the phone, and immediately contacted my friends of a Thai travel agency, found the ground snake in Chiang Mai, and rewarded 1 million baht to find someone.

At 9 o'clock in the middle of the night, they found someone.

It turned out that in the afternoon, Xiao Tao saw Chen Bing falling asleep, and went out by himself, and then fascinated, getting farther and farther.

Asked, some people said that she took her back to the hotel, but she pulled her to a more remote place and grabbed her money and mobile phone.

I rushed to Thailand the next day. When I saw Xiaotao at the hotel, she hugged her and said, "You scare your mother!"

She hugged me tightly and trembled.

She cried and said, "Mom, you are finally here."

God, how many years I have waited! Finally waited for my daughter's dependence on me.

I looked at the daughter in my arms, crying more fierce than her.

When I was waiting for my waiting country, I kept pulling Xiaotao's arm without putting it away, so I couldn't feel home, and I couldn't get my heart.

Xiao Tao asked me: "Mom, you really gave them 1 million!"

I said, "Of course, I can't find it again, I will prepare 1 million yuan."

Xiaotao said after a while, "Mom, do you know that I have never trusted you since I was a child."

I looked at her and didn't know how to answer.

She said, "Do you remember? I didn't want to go to school when I was a kid, but you let me reflect on whether I did it wrong."

I said, "Are you doing wrong?"

Xiao Tao pulled the corner of his mouth and told me a secret, a secret I didn't know at all.

It turned out that after Xiaotao transferred to school, she didn't want to go to school. There was another reason. At that time, she really fell in love.

After training the boys, the head teacher left her separately.

Xiao Tao was frightened at the time.

After returning, I only told my mother -in -law. Because I didn't trust me, I never thought about telling me.

The thought of the older generation is that such things must not be said.

She warned Xiaotao not to say. If she said it, the girl's reputation was gone, and she would be destroyed in her lifetime.

Xiaotao was under the head of this devil -like class teacher for a year and a half.

In my eyes, she was rebellious, stubborn, and unwilling to learn.

In fact, she lives in fear every day, which has a huge impact on her psychology.

Later, the girl who taught taught helped her and told her how many girls should save themselves, how bravery, and self -reliance.

When I heard this secret, I shocked and regretfully hit me over and over again.

I asked, "Why don't you tell me? Otherwise, I will definitely not let go of that scum!"

Xiao Tao cried.

She said, "Mom, I just believe you in my 20s, is it too late?"

I cried all at once.

I said, "I'm sorry, my mother didn't do it well."

But there are some things that are not too late.

After returning home, I talked with Xiaotao for a long time. Our mother and daughter never talked about their knees like this.

She told me that she was working as a child. I worked in a foreign country. The neighbors often joked that my mother didn't want her, and even my mother -in -law sometimes said that.

She is so young, she really believes.

When I grow up, I know a lot, and I know that I have paid a lot for this family, which is not easy.

But between us, we could not build the sense of intimacy and trust that mother and daughter should have.

At that moment, I suddenly felt sway:

In this world, no one will know who, even the daughter you love most.

What you have done, let her know and let her understand.

Especially during her childhood, even if she could not be accompanied every day, she must give her as intuitive warmth and visible care to her as much as possible.

Otherwise, it is invalid.

Now there are more and more professional women. We often have an idea about children. I think one day, she will understand.

But in fact, there are some things, don't wait for the "one day".

Otherwise, you may lose your child's attachment to your life.

In 2020, Xiaotao and Chen Bing got married.

At the end of the year, Xiaotao gave birth to a daughter.

When confinement, Xiao Tao sent a circle of friends and said, "Be a mother, only knowing her mother."

I suddenly blushed my eyes.

Mom is also the first time to be a mother.

If you do not do well, give her a little more time and patience.

Every mother wants to be a good mother.