Chinese parents always feel "fierce", and children are obedient. This is exactly the sadness of family education.

Chinese parents always feel "fierce", children are only obedient

This is exactly the sadness of family education

01

When I went home from get off work a few days ago, I encountered such a thing when I entered the elevator.

A boy pushed a bicycle and waited at the door of the elevator

Mom and dad next to me also just came home from get off work

The family of three looks very happy

As a result, when the elevator arrived, the parents couldn't get in

The boy pushed the bicycle to move little by little

At this time, my mother scolded the boy to say

"You move quickly, there are still people behind, block others, don't you have long eyes?"

And Dad is even more impatiently intervening and saying

"I see that he doesn't have long eyes, but I don't have a long mind at all. How many times I said, don't go out of this bicycle at this point, and come back late when I go out. Who did it "?

As a result, the boy didn't say anything. Instead, the child's mother was unwilling. The two began to quarrel in the elevator in a word, which made a neighbor who had already got up.

Give the boy a place

Finally, the boy pushed the bicycle smoothly and walked in, and when his parents scolded him and quarreled aloud

I saw that this child really lowered his head throughout the process

The face is flushed, and it is embarrassing and uncomfortable at first glance

Seriously, there are really a few parents like boys' parents in life

Most parents, the original intention is for the child, yes

But as soon as the words are exported, it becomes a scolding of children, accusing, and yelling loudly.

All of them are all martial arts masters

The first -hand "Lion Roar Gong" is really difficult to divide up

02

A friend once teased that since the child was in school

The two of them spoke really "Yu Yin Ring Beam"

Everyone shouted in the morning and evening

"What about your foreign worker? I'm late, I heard it soon!"

"No such simple question, how many times do you want to say, you're so angry, why are you so stupid!"

So I asked him

Do you think you use it like this?

The friend thought for a while, answered, regardless of it, but I can't control it

Yeah, how many parents, when teaching children

I can't help but increase the volume

I always feel that such a "fierce" child can be more obedient

But in fact, the education of children has never been high than the high tone

Instead, parents need to learn to love and respect their children from the heart

Only in this way, parents are willing to listen

I remember when I was in school, I met such two teachers

Teacher A is very gentle. When you get along with us

Also always speak softly

Even if it's very angry

The teacher basically does not lose his temper loudly, but always educates us patiently and guides us

As a result, during Teacher A's class

Even the last row of our class, the most naughty boys have become very obedient

Even when she was about to be adjusted, many children in the class were crying, and everyone was reluctant to leave the teacher.

On the contrary, Mr. B, who replaced Teacher A, is very irritable.

Every time I go to class, as long as there are students making trouble

Teacher B will say nothing, put these students' penalty stations, and even humiliate them in words

As a result, one time, the teacher found that a boy after reading a novel in class

I mentioned the boy on the podium

All kinds of paragraphs in the book that he reads himself, the boy naturally refuses to read

Teacher B directly dumped the book on the boy's face, and the boy said that the boy said

"You have a face now, you see what you see, I would have lost my parents if you were your parents."

As a result, the boy suddenly got angry, and pushed B one directly in the hand

The last two started various twists on the podium

After that, the bad children in our class, we deliberately teased the teacher from time to time, and the discipline in the class became worse and worse.

So, as parents, we must know

Educating children cannot rely on loud sounds, or violence, but should love to be ahead, educate behind

Just like my two teachers

Which one makes children respect and obedient

Which one will only make the child more rebellious and disobedient, I believe many parents are clear at a glance

03

In life, there are always parents for excuses to say

"It's not that I want to yell at the child, but that the children are too disobedient, they are all forced by children."

But in fact, if an adult cannot control management of his emotions, a adult

Why do you want your child to know how to control himself?

Good parents should be the child’s teacher

It should be guided by my own words and deeds to guide the child

Instead of just suppressing the child, asking the child to obedient

But parents are also people

There will also be out of control, there are negative emotions

No one can control their emotions well

Then if you find that it is difficult for you to control your emotions and always roar your child unconsciously

I suggest you, you must do these 3 points

First of all, parents must know themselves correctly

Seeing their own shortcomings, for example, if the parents have been irritable

Then you need to realize that this flammable and explosive temper is a disadvantage that needs to be corrected

Then in this understanding, parents must consciously control their temper, instead of indulging themselves

Secondly, parents can also learn a little more way to stabilize emotions

For example, when emotional comes up

We can let ourselves change a space, take a deep breath, slowly calm down and wait until our emotions pass, and then return to the child to communicate with the child

In addition, parents must be good at discovering children’s flash points

For example, children are not learning well, but children are very kind and filial

For another example

Or have other talents

When parents learn to look at the children's strengths, they will naturally be more tolerant of their children's weaknesses.

So after doing these 3 o'clock, I believe many parents

When you get along with your children, you will not be too anxious, and you will not lose your temper at will

Remember, Rome can not be available in one day

The child can not grow up in a day

A little more patient, learn to communicate with the children "whispering", children are often more willing to obedient

04

Some psychologists have done a special study

turn out

"When dealing with the same thing, speaking differently, the results you get are often different."

In real life

It is not difficult to find that many times, the more parents yell at children loudly

The more disobedient children, the more disobedience

Instead, if adults can squat down "whispered", children prefer to listen to their parents.

There is a scene in the variety show "Where's Dad" and impress me very deeply

When Chen Xiaochun found his son under his feet, he immediately scolded his son

As a result, the son looked at him blankly

After that, Chen Xiaochun changed to a way of communication, squatting down very patiently, and asked his son softly, what did you do?

At this time, his son speaks normally

In the end, I nodded according to Chen Xiaochun's request

Being a parent, you must remember that speaking loudly can not solve the problem

Good parents know "whispering" to speak

Only in this way can children trust their parents more, and grow more confident and healthier

Otherwise, the child will only have a way to learn, and become as irritable as his parents.

Or it becomes a parent's response insect

Learn to talk to your child in a low voice, you will find that when you whispered, children are often more willing to listen

mutual encouragement

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